𝙄𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚? - 𝙧. 𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙖

¡ forty two (end)

Y/N

"(Y/n) please let me in." Suna knocked on my door after several minutes.

I heard him and my mother talking when I left the room so I assumed he tried every possible thing to find a solution, because that's just how he is. He doesn't give up that easily on things he wants. It all has to be one big joke. It literally can't be real, after every little thing we have been through and finally thought that maybe it was all over, there is another big fucking thing ruining it.
I sat on the floor with my back against the wall next to my door.

I knew Suna wouldn't leave the other side of the door until I'd opened it so I reached up next to me, unlocked it and let him in.
He searched the room for me and finally saw me sitting on the floor next to my room, he just lowered himself on the ground and hugged me without saying anything, though his silence spoke more words than he probably intended to.
"Did you talk to her?" I ask, already knowing the answer, it just came out and I don't know why. I don't even want that question answered, I just want to forget that the last 10 minutes ever happened.

"Yes.. I did." He still didn't let go of me, his voice almost cutting off by how silent he suddenly was.

"I have to move?" It was more of a fact than a question, we both knew that.
And his silence gave me the final answer.

—

We sat there for god knows who long, just enjoying still being in each others presence.
But we both decided it wouldn't do either of us any favour just sinking into pity and sadness, so we decided we'd enjoy the time we had as long as we were able to.
Let's just make the best of it.
Which basically means, we both know it will end badly and we both cry about it in our own heads but we act like we're okay, we don't want to see each other sad so we both bottle it up and act like it's going to be okay. Because it's always going to be okay, right?

Right.

Fucking bullshit.

But we did what we could to just enjoy the time, and even if we had a moment where I forget that all of this had to end in a few weeks, it felt like it'd crush my heart all over again.

Of course I had to tell Michi and if I'm being completely honest, I'd expected her reaction to be a little less sad than it was.
Michi and i stayed friends even though I've already moved a couple of times, so why would it be different this time? We always stayed in contact.
If Michi and I could keep up our friendship up this whole time, what's stopping Suna's and my relationship?
That was literally the only thought that gave me hope.

It's not like we're living a hundred years in the past, there's multiple ways to communicate with someone who lives several and hundreds of miles away, so where's the problem?
Even though I had the answer myself, I didn't want to acknowledge it.

It wouldn't be the same.

Not seeing him everyday, being able to talk to him face to face, not being able to look at his eyes. Not being able to kiss him.
And the worst of all, it felt like it'd burden him more than it would if we were just to break up.

I know we both agreed just to make the best of our time, but we talked about it sometimes obviously, we had to.
Bringing up the option of a long distance relationship didn't seem to excite him much, it didn't excite me either. But it was the only option of us staying together, and seeing him not liking the only thing we had for our relationship to last hurt like hell.
But he decided he'd try, for my sake.
He never really gave me an explanation why he disliked the idea of us staying together with much distance between us, but I didn't question it. I figured it'll only hurt me more.