Easy But Complicated/ Alex Karev

0.7

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Maeve is walking around the hospital to collect her thoughts. She's waiting on the tests to come back on the girl from the e.r. Someone grabs her arm from behind. She turns around to see Alex, "Oh hey Alex, have you heard anything about that girl from the e.r? I was thinking about..." She trails off noticing that Alex seems different. Something in his eyes, they look softer than normal. He stares into her eyes, something more than just eye contact. He's still silent. "Um earth to Alex," she waves her hands in front of his face. It seems he's snapped out of whatever was happening before because he finally responds. "Oh um, I was just wondering," He stops for a moment to think, "if you wanted to come with a group of us attendings to Joes later?" The truth was there was no group going to Joes later, but Maeve didn't know that. "Yes, of course. Who's all going?" He thinks for a minute, "I'm not sure yet just getting a head count right now." Lie, once again. Maeve smiles and thanks him for inviting her before she excuses herself to go find that girl from the e.r.

Before Maeve can find the girl her pager goes off. It's to the o.r. Maeve runs to the o.r, the girl is prepped on the table. Alex is right behind her, his pager went off too. They scrub in quickly while an intern briefs them on what's happening.

Maeve tried her best to get the tumor out but it was no use. The girl had been flat lining for 5 minutes now while she's yelling at the nurses to charge the paddles again. Alex gently pulls her away from the table, "Maeve, come on." His voice and soft, almost a whisper. Maeve's mind drifts.

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"Mommy's really sick, okay honey? We need to go visit her." Maeve's dad is sitting on the edge of her bed while speaking to the young girl who's under the covers. Maeve hasn't left her bed in weeks. This is the first of many times she will come to do this. "Come on," her dad pulls the covers off of her, picking him up in his arms. His words are soft, he never talked to her like this again. He carries her to the car, placing her in the passenger seat then buckling her in. It's cold, it's mid February. The frosty air feels like daggers on Maeve's skin.
After a bit of a drive, a hospital comes into Maeve's view. Her dad parks, gets out of the car, comes to Maeve's side, opens the door, unbuckles her, and pulls her to her feet. Maeve's bare feet hit the ground, it's cold and icy. He places down slippers he grabbed from the house, Maeve finally moved her body herself. She slips them on and follows her dad silently into the hospital. It doesn't feel real to her. As if she's dreaming.
Her mom's room is cold, and sad. Maeve looks at her mom, she's pale. She reaches her arm out to touch her face. It's cold and rough.
It's only been ten minutes that Maeve and her dad have been in the room when her mom's machine starts going crazy. Maeve's dark eyes shoot to her mom, doctors come pouring in. Maeve sees them do cpr, then use paddles to do something. Maeve isn't sure. Eventually they stop. The machine going back to its flat line. She speaks for the first time in weeks, "Don't stop, do something's." She cries, begging.

She was only 14 at this time.

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As Maeve snaps back to reality, she pulls from Alex's grasp. She silently walks to scrub out, after she's does she goes to an on call room. She silently sits on the bed, just staring. There's not a thought in her head, thought at the same time there's too many. Deep breaths... In for 4 seconds out for 7. In for 4 seconds out for 7. In for 4 seconds out for 7. She repeats that in her mind until she can think straight. There's a knock at the door, it's Alex. He sits next to her, he doesn't speak though. She doesn't even pay attention to him, she's focused on what she's going to say to the father. Alex says something but she doesn't hear. She slowly gets up and makes her way to the waiting room. Alex says a couple more things while following her but once again, she doesn't hear.
"Mr. Banks?" She calls into the group of people sitting there. The girls father stands and she walks over to him. "While we were running tests, your daughter's brain tumor was growing. Quicker than we thought. When we got her to the o.r and opened her up, it had progressed too far. She didn't make it." Maeve explains to the man, while Alex watches from afar. The man is mad, but Maeve can tell it's simply just pain. She removes herself from the area after answering his questions.

The rest of the day felt unreal to Maeve. Something unlocked in her mind that hasn't been unlocked for a while.
On her way out to her car, Alex stops her. "Hey, are you still coming to Joes." Alex has now put a group of people together for his lie from earlier. He wasn't sure what he was going to say when he stopped her, something in him just got lost in her eyes. Maeve wants to speak but nothing comes out so she simply shakes her head no and continues to walk. Alex grabs her arm once again, she turns to him. Meeting his eyes, god his eyes. He takes a minute before he speaks, staring into her. "Are you okay?" She takes a minute trying to formulate a response. "Yeah, just tired," she tries to give a slight smile but her face feels heavy. "Okay, well be safe on your way home." He gives a smile, that's something that she grown to love seeing over the years. "Thank you," she turns to her car. The first thing she does when she gets in is connect her phone and shuffle her playlist. The first song that plays is 'Anchor' by Novo Amor.
"Took my breath from my open mouth, never known how it broke me down. I went in circles somewhere else."

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