Courtney’s Point of View
It’s been one week since Erol talked to me and ME making up my mind to fight for him. But that one week didn’t turned out well. He’s been rejecting me that makes my heart shatter into pieces. It hurts so much specially when he calls me a desperate woman – while I’m not. He’s been listening to the lies of his pretending girlfriend.
Masyado ng nalason yung utak niya, napakain na ng ilusyon na si Sulli yung totoo niyang girlfriend
I’m on my way again to their place and starting to face again the reality – the reality that is so fed up with lies. “Were getting married and no one can stop us. I don’t care if I’m going to hurt her or not! He’s mine to begin with! I don’t care to that Courtney of yours! Axe is mine first, and I’m just getting back what’s mine. I thought we are through this Erol?” narinig ko yung boses ni Sulli habang papalapit ako sakanila.
“Oo nga, sayo siya nung una but can’t you accept the fact that you are just part of his past? You’re being an immature!” sabi ko at naitulak ko nalang siya.
And The moment I pushed her, is the moment Axe came in and saw what happened.
“What’s happening here?” he asked angrily while running towards Sulli. “She slapped me! And she’s not contented with that she even pushed me and called me immature!”sabi niya habang umiiyak! c’mon! It’s true that I pushed her and called her immature! But slapped her? Seriously? I didn’t even touched her face!
Humarap si Axe sakin with his eyes, glaring at me with anger. “You’re the one who is immature! You said you love me right? Maturity is when a person hurts you and you try to understand his situation rather than hurting him back. Hurting Sulli, hurts me too. So if you really love me.. you won’t hurt the one I love .. and just let me go and let me be happy with her ..”All of the things that he has spoken was all a stab to my heart.
Masaya n asana ako eh, kase nakakausap ko siya kaso hindi ko magawa eh..
He loves Sulli. I need to let him go. I need to let him be happy.
But I can’t. I can’t let him go until he’ll remember me and say that he didn’t love me anymore. I can’t let him be happy with other person until he’ll remember me and say that he’s not happy with me anymore. I will give up when he’ll finally remember me and still rejects me. I will let go all of my feelings if he remember all of our memories, all of the days we’ve spent together and say that he don’t care at all.
“That’s what I’ve been doing all this time.. being mature and all. You hurt me and I try to understand the situation rather than hurting you back. You said before that, hurting me, hurts you too. So if I really love you, I won’t hurt myself and go fight for you until you remember me.” After I said that I walked away and cry myself out.
Nakita kong nakatayo si Erol sa harapan ko, yung mata niya awang awa saakin. Ayaw kong may naawa sakin pero for the first time, nasayahan akong may naaawa sakin. Kahit galit ako kay Erol, hindi parin nawala yung pagkacomfortable ko sakanya, atleast nagsisi naman siya diba?
“Alam ko masakit, pero wag kang umiyak ng ganyan.. kung masakit sayo mas masakit para sakin na Makita yung taong gusto ko umiiyak para sa iba.” Sabi niya habang yakap yakap ako.
Hinarap ko siya bago magsalita “Sus, okay lang ako no. yung sakit na nararamdaman ko lilipas din to, pero yung feelings niya para sakin yun ang hindi ko kayang mawala. I’ve been through many struggles tapos eto lang susukuan ko? Ha-ha-ha!” sabi ko habang umiiyak.
“Masakit lang talaga sa feeling na yung taong nagparamdam sayo ng kasiyahan, na pinaramdam sayo na sobrang special mo sakanya, ay yung taong nagpaparamdam ng sakit ngayon, Parang kahapon lang, sobrang special ko tapos ngayon feeling ko tinatalikuran na ako ng mundo dahil sakanya.” Sabi ko habang pinupunasan yung luha ko,
“Para akong tanga eh, alam mo ba yung feeling na masaya ka parin kapag kausap mo siya kahit para sa kanya wala kang halaga?” sabi ko habang tumulo ng patuloy yung luha ko,
Pinunasan ko na diba? Dapat wala ng tutulo!
“Alam ko yun, palagi mong pinapadama sakin yon eh, Courtney, matuto kang sumuko kung nasasaktan kana ng sobra. Sabi nga nila, lahat ng mabigat, gumagaan kapag binibitawan. Bakit hindi mo siya mabitawan? Nandito naman ako handang saluhin ka.” Natatawa niyang sagot pero may lungkot sa boses niya.
“Pero bakit ikaw? Nasasaktan kana ng sobra pero hindi mo parin ako binibitawan?” tanong ko sakanya.
“Kase mahal kita—“ sagot niya na pinutol ko, “That’s the exact reason why I don’t want to let him go, kase mahal ko siya gano pa kabigat yung nararamdaman ko, I can fight against the world just for him no matter what it takes.”
“Ouch. Masakit yun ah.” Sabi ni Erol na humawak kunware sa puso niya, natawa nalang ako sa expression na ginawa niya. “Sorry Erol.” Yun nalang nasabi ko at ngumiti siya sakin.
Sana si Erol nalang.
But I can’t take it anymore. Ayoko na munang marinig yung sasabihin ni Axe, yung sasabihin ng iba. kay Erol na muna ako makikinig because I know that Axe’s words will hurt me. They will be married in a month at hindi ko yata makakaya yon but if it’s meant to be, it will be.Patience is a virtue, so I will wait for him until my last breath. I will make him remember me– I will make him remember US.
