Dedicated to kay Ate! natatawa ako sa mga comments niya. hahahaha sa kabila ng drama, nagagawa niyang pagtawanan characters ko hahaha. Thanks:**
Courtney’s Point of View
We’ve been apart for about 4 years.
We have nothing but the trust and love that we give to each other. We only have few communications – Social networks and Cellular Phones – I’ve been waiting for him to come back, and I know that he’ll come back to me because he promise so.
He left because he need to study abroad, and I was left with his brother’s – Who supposedly my ex-boyfriend – guidance. He trust me so I did trust him too. Pero hindi ko alam na dahil pala sa pagtitiwala ko ay mawawasak ako.
Akala ko okay na ang lahat, akala ko masaya na ang lahat. Akala ko pag balik niya okay na, akala ko makakayanan naming lahat. Pero lahat pala ng yon akala lang pala.
Mahirap umasa lalo na kung yung isang tao ay paasa, hindi ko siya masisi kung nakalimutan niya ako, tadhana na yung gumawa non eh. Pero yung pakikitungo niya sakin? Masakit yon eh, umalis siya dito ng maayos kami pero ano ngayon? Kasing lamig pa yata ng freezer ng ref ko eh.
I can’t come out. I can’t trust anyone. I can’t face the reality. I can’t face the truth – the truth that he will never be mine, AGAIN. Maging yung taong akala ko mapagkakatiwalaan ko sinira ako, winasak ako.
Sana pala pag umalis yung isang tao, pwedeng iwanan yung feelings no? para kahit papano may mapanghahawakan ka, may babalikan sila.
Kaso hindi eh, hangang sana lang yon. Dahil ang totoo walang permanente sa mundo, pwede nilang sabihin pero sobrang hirap gawin.
Akala ko si Erol yung tutulong sakin para mabalik si Axe sakin pero mali ako, siya pa pala yung maglalayo sakin. Akala ko si Sulli, tangap niya na dahil bestfriend ko siya, ngayon pala siya pa gagawa ng paraan para mapalayo lalo si Axe sakin.
Kung alam ko lang na ganto yung mangyayare edi sana hindi ko na siya hinayaang umalis.
“How long would you make yourself suffer Courtney?” Tanong sakin ni Erol
“I will suffer till my last breath, I can’t see them happy. Habang ako nandito halos mamatay na kakaiyak. Erol! Akala ko is aka sa mga mapagkakatiwalaan ko kaso wala eh..Gusto ko sana talagang maging masaya siya eh, kaso hindi ko kaya lalo na ngayon na hindi niya manlang alam na nag-eexist ako sa mundong ito”
“Fight for him if you really love him! Not like this, isolating yourself from everyone! You are not sick to be isolated Courtney!” Sigaw niya tapos dumiretso na siya sa sofa
“I love him, but how can I fight if I’m going to fight with the person who supposed to be my strength? Fighting with the person who gives me strength is nonsense. I can’t win, I will never win. He’s my strength and I can’t fight without him.” I bite my lip and try to bury myself in my palms. I can’t cry, sobrang pagod nakong umiyak..
Kase yung pagiyak ko wala ding kwenta, it can’t change the fact that he’s with my friend – my bestfriend who betrayed me
“Love is like watching a horror movie, Courtney. If you just close your eyes and let your fear conquer you.. you will not see what will happen. So face your fears, because a horror story always ends with their protagonist still alive. So if you are really the protagonist of your life, you will still stand out in the end.. but if it’s not you, don’t forget that life is a book.. you just need to move to the next chapter of your life. Courtney,” sabi niya at napatingin ako sakanya.
He’s right I’m going to fight for him even he’s the one who makes me give up. Pero hindi ko parin nakakalimutan yung ginawa ni Erol saakin.
“Grabe! Ang galing mong umarte eh! Akala mo wala kang ginawang masama kung makapag-advice ka dyan eh! Don’t act like an angel Erol because you’re not.” Sagot ko sakanya.
“I’m not acting Courtney, totoo ito at handa akong tulungan ka na mabalik si Axe sayo kahit masakit.” Sagot niya habang nakayuko.
“Oh C’mon Erol! Stop the drama, hindi na uubra saakin yan. Hirap na magtiwala eh, kase minsan yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo sila pa yung mang-aahas sayo.” Sabi ko at umiyak na.
“Ayaw kong umiiyak ka dahil sakanya, kaya ko to gagawin, hindi to drama dahil nagsisisi na ako, gusto kong sumaya kana, kahit ngayon lang ayokong nagmumuka kang mahina.”
“Umiiyak ang tao Erol, pero hindi ibig sabihin non ay mahina na sila, sometimes they are just like me, they’ve been strong for too long and hindi na nakayanan yung sakit kaya iniiyak nalang.”
Hinawakan ko yung sentido ko at pinipigilang umiyak,
“Pinipigilan ko naman eh, pero bakit ganon? Masakit parin talaga eh. Ilang taon akong naghintay sa wala. Call me childish for acting like this just because I didn’t get what I want pero umasa ako eh, kaya may reason naman ako sa pagiging childish diba?”
“Courtney—“ hahawakan sana ako ni Erol.. “No—Please leave me alone first, I need time for myself alone.. I need to rest.. To think or maybe die?”
“Stop saying that Courtney—“ sagot naman ni Erol.
“Just leave please? Before I’ll make my last statement true.” Sagot ko sakanya.
Ayoko na. masyadong masakit eh.. pero naalala ko yung sinabi ni papa bago siya mamatay.
“Anak, wag mong susukuan yung isang bagay hanggat wala kapang nagagawa para lumaban.” Sabi nito bago siya malagutan ng hininga..
Si papa namatay yan sa depression, iniwan kase kami ni mama. Hindi ko alam kung saan lupalop na napunta yon pero wala na saakin yon may sarili akong problemang kailangan resolbahin bukod dito.
Lalaban ako Axe, para sayo—para satin.
