I woke up as white lights flashed my eyes, I squeezed my eyes shut. I was breathing heavily as I felt my stomach something was wrapped around it. I looked around, Hospital, I was in a hospital... you mean I survived? I actually survived? Then a doctor came to me "Hi sweety, your parents are on their way hon," shit... my parents I tried getting up quickly but failed "No, don't call them," I said. "Hon, they're your parents, they are worried," she said. "Bullshit-" Jeff! I thought "Jeff! where is jeff??!?" I asked. "Hon... I'm afraid he didn't make it..." she said. I couldn't believe what I just heard, I felt like vomiting. "You are very lucky to be alive," she said. "No.. he can't be dead," I said. I began to freak out then I puked everywhere. "Ma'am are you ok?!?" She asked me. I felt nauseous, I wanted to speak to Jeff "Let me speak to my brother now!" I screamed the nurse ran out, two came in and cleaned everything up they let me take a shower then I sat back down thinking about Jeff "Where is he?" I asked eagerly towards the nurse.
"I am so sorry but he didn't make it, honestly I wouldn't lie about that," She said, I felt my eyes fill with tears. I can't believe my best friend is dead, my brother. I cried a lot then my mom came running in "Ashley?!?! Where's your brother?!" She said yelling. I cried way more trembling, stuttering "he... He's dead," I said shaking as more tears came down. She started to cry and hugged me as tightly as she could for the first time I actually wanted her support, I hugged her back as we cried more. She then put one of her hands on my cheek and looked into my eyes "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let you go to that party," She said, more tears came "No, I should've made sure we didn't drink, It's my fault I'm so sorry," I said crying. She shook her head "Baby, it isn't your fault," all I wanted to do is just cry and hug her, Jeff was the only one who truly cared for me, he was actually there he actually... listened. She stepped out of the room for a minute to talk to the doctor I looked across the room and saw my clothes, I was in a hospital nightgown.
I got up and slowly walked to the clothes I picked them up as I saw blood everywhere. I dropped to my knees and cried more. My mom ran in and the doctor took the clothes "I'm so sorry, we didn't have time to wash those so your mom brought some," She said. "Don't wash them," I said standing up, I went and changed into new clothes. I got in the car and the whole ride home was silent when we got there all she did was walk inside and locked the car after I opened my door. Then I went inside, she took her shoes off and was going to her room then I stopped her "So that's it? My brother is dead and you just want to be quiet? But act like a good parent in front of the doctors," I said with tears. She stopped and let out a sigh she slowly turned to me "You don't understand, you never will, what do you expect me to say? Huh? What the hell do you want me to say? You don't think I'm sad? Jeff was a damn good son, I'm tired and need lots of rest, you need it too," she said. I scoffed "Seriously? You're going to give a speech about him being a good son? You didn't give a shit about us," She came down the stairs and looked at me.
"Excuse me? I'm the mother not you, don't tell me how to be a parent Ash," She said raising her voice. "Yeah? Well, you're a bad mom! Jeff was the only one who cared about me, he saved me when you hit me and now he's gone it's going to be worse," I said raising my voice. She came closer "Listen to yourself, Jeff didn't care about you, he cared about sports, his friends, shit like that god Ashley get a bigger fucking brain," She said. I clenched my fists tempted to punch her. "Don't you dare say that, he cared about me, more than you ever fucking did!" I said yelling. "KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!" she said screaming. "NO! YOU DON'T CARE!" I said yelling back. She got in my face "YOU LITLLE BITCH!" she said as she smacked me. I fell to the floor my eyes filled with tears "Ash I don't want to fight tonight," I stood up holding my face, then I looked at her "Oh like you even care, you have no soul, no heart, I hate you, I want a mother who doesn't lay a hand on me, one who's nice," I said as I ran to my room, I slammed the door behind me then locked it. I sat on my bed crying. Hannah told me to call her if something happens I begin dialing her number. Then I stopped myself "She's probably asleep," I thought.
