Nuking burritos: The Imperturbability of Personal Probability

Dr. Forceps, holding a frozen burrito with two freezing fingers, reads "How to Unwrap a Molten Burrito"  in the introductory section of the 500-page Mechanical Operations Manual of Trans PortAble Microwave Ovens, "Surviving Explosively Tasty Deadly Foods, Preventing Disintegrations and... How Your Phone Ringer May Cause Detonations".

First:  Keep away from children.  Do not allow them to play with microwaves.  Also, for their safety and yours... personally keep away from children, as their modeling your behavior may be dangerous for generations.  We may not be held responsible for your irresponsibilities.

Insert mouth guard, prepare for blast. Wear mask, preferably welder's. Select personally desired level of risk. Have lawyer sign disclaimer:

Not reading your Life Warranty may lead to physical and psychological batterings, wars, conflicts, antagonistic dances, instigated by the individually symbolic noises that emanate limitless misinformation through the interfaces of skin-wrapped skulls.

Such bone spheres contain whorls of thought-blender sub-personas cooking in their own tasteful juices of selective reality, despite claims of democracy and the requirement of multiple eyeballs to perceive the simultaneous persona multiplicities as soup boilings laced with spiced foods for thought, ingredients including: who they think they are, who other personas think they are, and who they all really are. 

Add a pinch of road salt, as each persona may answer as clearly as a chameleon questioned about its identity.

Extract burrito from cardboard package. Discard. Not the burrito.

It is probable that each personal instance of self-induced copyright claim of omniscience provides a sense of geocentrically righteous peace.

Probable results of such radiations may cause mutations and thought knots, as evidenced by the face and body dances continually ratifying misinterpretations. After heat, set to cool.

DANGER:   Do not place immediately molten burritos in your face hole.

Tongue disintegration may lead to further symbolic noises.

Wear safety goggles, face mask and surgically gloved hands, then use tweezers to turn each page to discover how to "Survive Explosively Tasty Deadly Dishes"...