Castiel is your best friend, but maybe you were always meant to be more. You've been hunting with the boys for years, but when the dynamic between you gets too complicated, you begin struggling to cope. You wonder if it's time go your own way, but t...
Castiel found his letter first and without hesitation began running around the bunk in a desperate search, his cries for you waking up the brothers. They stumbled out of their rooms, dazed but apprehensive as they chased after Cas. Dean found the letter, read it and passed it to Sam. Dean dropped into a chair, his head falling into his hands as he bit back tears. His anger bubbled up and he exploded in a rage 'FUCK! WHY THE FUCK!' he yelled, throwing everything on the table to the ground, kicking chairs away. Sam told him to calm down but he shoved his brother way and continued with his tantrum, about to knock over one of the bookshelves when Cas came in and pulled him back so forcefully he fell to the ground.
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'Don't!' the angel exclaimed sternly, making Dean shrink back. He withered into a small ball as he tucked his head into his knees and stayed there. Sam was sitting at the carved table, running his fingers along your name, rereading your note and tears barrelling down his face, snorting a little at your P.S which he hated the feeling of. He tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the remaining tears out, his jaw clenched viciously.
'I'm going after her,' Cas announced, already at the foot of the stairs. Both brothers turned to leave with him but he commanded them to stay, sending Dean into another fit though Sam understood and told him to get going.
'Give me his fucking letter,' Dean hissed, pointing to the note Cas left behind and Sam handed it to him. He read it quickly and swore again. His fist started to crumple the paper but Sam grabbed his wrist and told him to let go.
'It's not yours to throw away,' he said, sitting back down into a chair and pulling his brother into an adjacent one. 'Calm down, you read his note. He could still bring her back'.
'Oh yeah because she's known for not being the fucking stubborn one,' he growled back.
~~~~~~~ Dawn broke and you gazed at the sunset creeping up the sky, its golden glow sweeping across the landscape. You took in the view from atop this hill one last time. The rumble of a car approached from a distance but you didn't pay it any attention until you didn't see it drive across the highway and you looked down to see the Impala advance up the narrow path. You sighed, watching it get closer until you could see the lone angel behind wheel.
'Shit,' you breathed as Castiel got out and walked over to you. He leaned against the car hood with you and watched the sunrise beside you.
'I knew you'd come here Y/n,' he wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple, 'let's go get breakfast. Please,' he pleaded.
'I asked you not to come,' you whined shrugging his arm off your shoulder. You got up and distanced yourself from him, though he followed, reaching out to grab your hand and pulling you back. He weaved his hands with yours and began swaying with you in a silent dance. He lowered his head to your ear.
'I love you too. Stay,' he whispered, and your resolution faltered and you lay your head against his chest.
'Please don't Castiel,' you spoke into his chest.
'I wanted to give you a reason to stay. I wanted to be the reason you stayed'. He had suspected your intentions this whole time. Guess you weren't so secretive after all. Though it was almost unfair how well he knew you.
'You're the same reason I have to leave,' your voice was catching and your vision was getting blurry.
'Was I wrong to think we were drawn together by fate?' he lamented, his coarse voice breaking.
'I still have the freedom to do the right thing,' you pulled away from him and stared up into his eyes. They were red and wattery. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pressed his lips into yours. You shut your eyes and savoured the kiss, and you could feel his tears rolling down and wetting your skin.
'Stay,' he mumbled into the kiss, his final desperate plight.
~~~~~~~ The brothers are waiting impatiently around the war room table. When they hear the door creak open they jump to their feet, staring in silent prayer as they wait for you to come through. Castiel enters first, his face blank and cast down but their hope doesn't falter; they don't take their eyes off the door even as it shuts behind him and dreadful silence falls over the bunker, the absence of your voice is now a permanance.
