London’s POV:
“Woah London! Don’t yell at me or anything but you look horrible! Did you sleep last night?” Mariana comments, staring at my tired expression. I shake my head, gesturing to the baby. Charity kept me up all night and I am ready to collapse. She would cry for a minute, I would soothe her and then 5 minutes later she’d start to cry again! It was like a never ending cycle of an upset baby! It has only been a week and I already want to kill this baby. Wow I am not going to make a good mother…
Thankfully, today is Aiden’s day and I hope he gets some sleep at least. Actually I take that back I hope he doesn’t get any sleep.
I put all of my stuff in my locker except for my health binder and baby. I head for the health room, saying goodbye to Mariana. I plop down into my chair, putting my head in my hands. I almost fell asleep and I would have if it weren’t for Aiden. He slammed his binder’s down onto his desk purposely. My head shot up and he started to laugh. I rolled my eyes and rubbed the drool off of my mouth.
“You drool? Gross!” Aiden comments and I punch him in the arm lightly. I hand him the baby and run my hand through my hair.
“Hello class! For today, I am going to hand out a packet about your baby. I am expecting you to hand this into me by tomorrow, I don’t care if you have to work at home! Get to work class!!” I groan as I see the length of the packet. We are definitely not going to finish this in class…
“You can come over to my house if you want, if we don’t get this done,” Aiden states and I nod.
I open the lengthy packet, putting our names on the top. The questions are easy, some are about how often he/she cries, or how long he/she eats for, stuff like that. I finnish the first page swiftly, moving onto the next. I have already finished about half of the packet when I hear someone talking in a baby voice. I look up to see Aiden talking to Charity like she is a real baby. I suppress a laugh. Aiden catches me and I begin to laugh hysterically at his embarrassment. His cheeks tint pink and I laugh harder.
“You’re so mean, London!” I begin to quiet down, a small smile tugging on my cheeks. He shakes his head and smiles at me.
“I’m kind of afraid to ask this, but do you need a ride to my house today?” Aiden asks quietly. I tense, my eyes meeting his in an instant. I shake my head quickly, my heart beat picking up.
“It’s okay London you don’t have to. I’m not going to make you get in a car with me, thats practically kidnapping,” Aiden adds with a wink. I think he’s trying to lighten up the mood, and it’s not really working. I let out a shaky laugh, avoiding eye contact. I feel my eyes fill up with tears.
Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I speak like everyone else? Why can’t I act normally without my anxiety making me screw up? I hate myself so much…
A tear falls onto my cheeks and I rush out of the class. I sprint to the girls bathroom and sit in the corner of the stall, letting it all out. I grab my hair, tugging on it. Sobs cause my body to shake violently. I hate that I can’t deal with everything like a normal person. I hate that I cry at everything. I hate that every single thing reminds me of my grandparent’s death! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
