Stray Kids Oneshots BXB

Seungbin - Diary

⚠️ Homophobic language ⚠️

Dear Human,

Do you know how I left all my old diaries at home? I probably shouldn't have done that. I put it in a shoebox in the closet under a pile of underwear because who would check there? Right? Wrong. My mum would apparently. I should have brought them all with me. I regret keeping them there. My mum wanted to clear out my room so my two sisters don't have to share a room anymore. I should've known. She could've told me. She found the box. The diaries. My secrets. She didn't even tell me she found them. Instead, she read them. Every single book. From my first day of school, my first kiss, up to my first boyfriend. All of it. To make matters worse, she told my family. From my father to my sisters to my aunties, uncles, and cousins. Every single one of them. Without missing one. I went from the boy who listened to his parents and got good grades to the disgusting, worthless faggot. All my hard work turned to dust because I like the same sex. My family hates me now. They don't want me to come to any family gatherings or anything. They don't even want to see me anymore. 

They told me they found out that I was gay a month later. ONE MONTH. They sent all my things from home to me saying 'You're not welcome here anymore. You've disappointed us and you still think we'll love you. Think again. Don't ever come back again.' They didn't even come and give it to me. They sent it to the dorms. So when I got all my things (which was about 5/6 boxes) I had to rack up my brain with an excuse. I told them that my parents were clearing up to move houses and to go through my things for things I need and don't need. It was not the best excuse but they believed it and left me alone. I had to throw out almost everything because I'm living in a house with 7 other guys. I don't have space to keep them. 

To and fuel to the flame, I like a band member. A guy. In my group. I know I should've avoided it but living with the guy and being next to him 24/7, I could stop my feelings from growing. Especially if the guy doesn't like my company. He tries to avoid me. When we sit down to eat he sits far away, even in Vlives he tries to be as away as possible and it hurts. It hurts to get kicked out of your house, be on the brink of getting kicked out of Stray kids and the company, and the one you love not love you back. Changbin doesn't love me. The pain is starting to get to me and I don't know what to do. The last few months have been hell, and I'm scared that the next few will be even worse. I don't think my heart can take any more pain but I have to look happy for Stays, for the members, for everyone. If they find out then I will have nowhere to go. No one would want me. I'm worthless.

----⚜----

Changbin flinched and instantly turned his head towards the door once he saw it open. Seungmin looked at Changbin with wide eyes. He had his diary on his lap, sitting on the bed with it wide open.

"Hyung....."

"Seungmin, I can explain-" Changbin said hastily but Seungmin didn't listen. He ran out of the room and tried to get to the door. But Changbin came rushing out and stopped him. He grabbed the younger's arm harshly to make sure he doesn't escape and tugged him towards himself.

"Seungmin, let me talk-"

"There's nothing to talk about!" Seungmin shouted over the older, cutting him off. 

"There's nothing to talk about." His eyes glossed over as his voice started to shake. 

"It's a diary for a reason, Hyung. I hid it for a reason. No one was supposed to find it for a reason. I-" Seungmin sobbed as tears fell down his face like a waterfall.

"Especially you." Seungmin's voice cracked as the rapper attempted to hug him. The younger tried to fight him off but gave up realizing that the older wouldn't let him. He slowly relaxed, put his head on the older's shoulder, and hugged him back tightly. 

Cries continuously left the singer's mouth as the older shuffled them to his room. He was thankful the members went out on their free day (including Han) so he won't need to explain anything. Changbin rubbed his head as the cries started to quieten down and stop. 

"I'm sorry I read your diary and I'm sorry that you don't feel loved by me. I promise I do. The same way you love me. I'm sorry I didn't show it. I was almost certain you weren't gay and tried to hide it. I'm sorry that you got hurt by me and I promise to make sure that doesn't happen again." Seungmin slowly lifted his head from the latter's shoulders and looked at him.

"You love me?" Seungmin was dumbfounded. "The same way I love you?"

Changbin nodded and giggled about how cute the younger looked when he was shocked. Before Seungmin could even blink, Changbin leaned in and stole a quick peck from him. Seungmin's mouth fell open and his eyes wide. 

Again, Changbin chuckled about how cute he was. "You know I like you and I know you like me so why are you still so shocked?" 

"You actually like me?" Seungmin still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the love of his life liked him back. Tears started to gloss over again and a pout appeared on his face. 

"Don't cry, baby. we could try going on a date first instead of diving right and test the waters. If everything good we could slowly tell the members. We'll keep it from the company though and make sure they don't find out. Is that okay baby?" Changbin asked while wiping the tears on the younger's face.

"It's perfect." This time Seungmin leaned forward and capture the older's lips with his. He felt Changbin smile as he kissed him back. Seungmin smiled in the kiss as he felt Changbin push him back towards the bed. They fell on the bed and broke the kiss and started giggling like high school girls. Seungmin hesitantly snuggled into Changbin's neck as Changbin gladly accepted and wrapped his arm around the younger's waist.

"Did I tell you I love you?"

"You didn't."

"Well, I love you."

"Okay."

The boy hit his chest and whined "Say it back." The other chuckled.

"I love you too."

✨Did it come out okay? It was supposed to be a Seungmin Centric and all the members find out but I changed it to this last minute because I realized I was doing a lot of centric instead of BXB. Thank you for over 200 reads. :)✨