pain.
a feeling of mental or physical damage.
ash was no stranger to pain. it was something so familiar, it could be considered his oldest friend. it was a beautiful, yet harsh feeling that reminded him of his mortality, of the fact that he was human, and not the untouchable creature the whole world depicts him as.
his abdomen rippled in spasms of pain he had felt a thousand times before, both in the streets and the place where his normal life was ripped from him, along with his clothes. crimson stained his palms, painting his pale skin vivid with evidence of his approaching end.
ash knew that he would die eventually, there was no way that he would survive the brutal streets of new york for his entire life. but there was a small part of him that had protested, clinging desperately to the idea of a safe life in japan, where guns weren't needed and one could live without being constantly on edge.
and what's better, is eiji would've been with him.
eiji.
his letter was clutched as tightly as he could in his weakening palms, holding onto the thought of the older boy.
eiji. oh eiji. what ash wouldn't give to see him again. hell, he would give the entire world, just to see him smile again.
the plane ticket had been dropped somewhere after he was stabbed, fluttering away in the wind, along with his last chance to be with him again.
well, he guessed that he just wasn't allowed to happiness. yellow hair curled on the mahogany table as he layed his head down on the tan pages, imagining his beautiful eiji was right next to him, laughing at his fear of pumpkins, or making a gripe at his shoes.
a single tear tracked down his face, carving through his carefully crafted mask before shattering it entirely. he didn't really want to die. he wanted to live, with eiji, but he would only bring him trouble.
he couldn't do that to him. he couldn't put his life in danger anymore.
ash took a shaky breath, before closing his eyes, allowing the darkness that had been creeping along the edges of his vision to overtake him.
pure black.
why did that colour seem so familiar to him?
a name sat on the edge of his tongue, but he couldn't quite grasp it.
the darkness was seemingly infinite, engulfing ash in a blanket of dulled senses.
he knew that he was dying, but he couldn't figure out why he seemed so reluctant. his heart ached, along with a strange piercing feeling in his stomach. why couldn't he just go? remaining here was just causing him pain, so why was he clinging onto life so badly?
a flash of deep brown eyes.
a gentle smile.
ash reeled back in confusion. he knew those eyes. he knew that smile. but where from?
his emerald eyes darted around, searching for those flashes of memory he somehow knew was his. he wanted to see that smile again.
"ash."
a gentle voice spoke his name, the word rolling around him like honey from the accented tone.
an impulse drew him to shout in reply, pulling a name from his mouth that seemed so familiar that it was second nature.
"eiji!"
the scent of vanilla and cherry blossoms engulfed him, wrapping around him like a blanket of familiar warmth. that smell... when had he begun to associate it as home?
