Predator (DWT x OC)

19

I don't remember the week that passes. It feels like I'm almost living in slow motion, the world passing by me, in fleeting glimpses of flashing colours and sounds, while I hide away in my own little cocoon of empty silence and brown toned walls, desperate to heal. The thing you learn when your whole life falls apart, is that the world moves on without you. 

And I didn't mind being left behind, then. 

But eventually people stop making allowances for you, and you have two options, pick yourself back up and start living again, or slip away into your mind and never come out. So one morning, I drag myself out of bed, and wobble my way onto the grass outside the lake. 

It's a warm day, the first hints of summer in the bright spring air. The trees flutter in the breeze, the sparkling water rippling gently. I close my eyes against the late morning sun, remembering the day before everything fell apart, a day where I sat on the velvety green grass, with a family I loved, and a home I felt safe in, and munched on apples as the lake's mirror distorted the thick trunks of rustling trees. 

 I tilt my head to the sky, arms unfurling wide as I embrace the place I once called home, and it embraces me. It's as if the trees are waving at me, the breeze curling itself around my neck, the lake bubbling in excitement at my return. I feel a single tear slide down my cheek. 

Every once in a while though, the world stops for you. And in that moment, you finally see why you keep going. Why you keep fighting, keep pushing through everything, no matter how much you just want, you just need, everything to end. When the world stops for you, for one fleeting, beautiful second, everything is okay. 

And then it moves on, and you're left behind again. But you'll catch up, and you'll find your way, and then the world will pause for you again and you'll remember why you tried in the first place. 

I promised myself that I'd keep trying. And it gets really fucking difficult to hold that promise sometimes, but I still do. I'm proud of myself for that. It's enough for now.

"Rosemary?" I hear an unsure voice call out, and I turn, squinting my eyes in the direction of the sound.

"Tubbo?" I call back. 

He comes to stand beside me, stood tall in his blue uniform, creased at odd angles from running through the forest, or building some sort of new contraption. I bump my shoulder against his, a gentle reminder that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. 

"We thought you were gone." He says in a small voice, looking out over the glittering lake. 

"I'll always come back Tubbo, I just get lost sometimes." I tell him quietly. 

"You just...you didn't even talk, or drink, or eat. You just stayed in the bed, you were barely alive." He rambles, eyes widening, looking at something only he could see. 

"I'm back now. I'll be okay." I reassure gently, winding my fingers around his, squeezing tightly.

"Please don't leave again." He murmurs, and I almost don't hear him. 

"I can't promise that Tubbo. But I'll always come back, okay? I promise I'll always come back." I say, finally turning to look at him. 

He's so young, too young to be in that uniform, too young to have that scar running down the length of his face, hidden slightly by his hair. He's too young to have that look in his eyes, that knowing, seeing look of someone who's lived a thousand lives over, even when they shouldn't have. He's too young to be standing here, begging his friend to stay. I find the gnarled place in me growing, twisted so unrecognisably by hatred and contempt, blackened in the void that is left behind my humanity. 

It wants to make Dream hurt for this, it yearns for revenge, and revels in the hate I have for him. He did this. He did this to everyone I love, to me. But mainly, there's just the consuming waves of cobalt blue sadness, drowning everything else out. 

He turns to look at me, tears welling up in his wide blue eyes. I smile at him, trying not to let my face crack and show him my true emotions. He squeezes my hand back, clinging on desperately, as though if he let go, I would get lost again. 

I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close to me, trying to tell him everything that is impossible to put into words. His hands grab onto my shirt tightly, and I can feel him shaking as he sobs into my chest. I hold him, letting him shatter around me, because I will pick up the pieces and put them back together for him, even though there was no one there to do that for me. 

Another set of arms wind around us, Niki's head resting onto my shoulder as she weaves her delicate fingers into Tubbo's hair, gently stroking his head as he lets out gut wrenching, choking sobs that tug at my heart. Another person collides with my back, arms curling over me, head on my back, hands latching onto Tubbo's shoulders, and I know it's Tommy. Wilbur places his hand on my shoulder, and I look up at him, as he wraps his arm over Tubbo, his fingers digging tightly against me.

We all hold on tightly, trying to keep Tubbo together, trying to piece ourselves back together. L'manburg has been torn apart, it's pieces burned, and lost, and tossed away, and yet we have found our way back home. L'manburg cannot go back to the way it was, but it can become whole again. The problem is, you can't fixed something with broken pieces. 

Yet, we'll heal, and we have each other to put one other back together, and slowly, slowly L'manburg will become complete once more. It will mean something new, and something different. But the world moves on, the world changes, and maybe, just maybe, we'll find something better in the new life that we'e been forced to live. 

But right now, I have to learn to live again. 

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A/N Well, uh...yikes I guess.  I also feel like this is an important chapter to properly sum up and conclude this stage of Rosie's life, especially has the last couple chapters have been kind of crazy and chaotic in terms of emotions. I think this chapter is really valuable in giving Rosie finality and closure from that chapter in her life, and that I'm addressing everything to the fullest, most proper and appropriate extent. 

So sorry for not uploading in a little bit, the last couple days have been insane in my life, if you couldn't tell by the slightly unhinged ramblings in this chapter! Next chapter will be some fun interactions with everyone, maybe some plot if I find it fits!

Please vote and comment, it really helps and I truly appreciate it immensely!!

I hope you enjoyed,

Oopsies x