Untold truths // Minishaw

24 ~ 'I'm Sorry'

TW: this chapter includes mentions of self harm - it isn't detailed but still beware as the whole chapter subtly mentions it so be careful when reading. Try listening to happy and/or more upbeat music :)

The next day, Harry wakes up and just lies in bed, still half asleep. He rolls over, completely forgetting about what he did the day before and winces as he rolls back into his previous spot. Great he mumbles to himself as he gets up. It's almost lunch and he promised to meet up with the others for filming in about an hour. He showers, gets dressed and eats breakfast before finally leaving, running about ten minutes late.

"You're late... again" Vikk chuckles as he folds his arms and rolls his eyes at Harry who just mutters sorry in response. "It's alright, how you doing today anyway?" Vikk asks Harry sincerely after the whole drama about Harry's new upload. M'fine mate Harry shrugs with a nervous chuckle subconsciously trying to scratch the slight sting on his thigh.

"You sure?" JJ butts in as he is also genuinely concerned. He knows Harry is usually really strong when it comes to hate, he never takes it personally and ignores it, but something about all this got all the sidemen worried. i'm fine, Jide Harry nervously chuckles as he rubs the back of his neck. JJ slaps Harry's back lightly as they all walk off ready for filming.

At one point while filming, Harry was sat down and laughing with all the others but brought his hands to his thighs way to quickly and winced slightly but trying his best to hide how he's in pain, waiting for the few seconds of stinging to be over. Simon was the only one who knew about Harry's past with self harm as he once caught Harry, but he can't remember the last time Harry did it because it was so long ago. However, he does know the signs, and of course he picked up on that one. He picked up on the light scratching and how Harry tried his best to make sure nothing touched it and how he would manoeuvre his jogging bottoms a lot on the one thigh. Simon picked up on it and felt an overwhelming sadness. He didn't know what to do or how to react, he just knew he'd have to check up on Harry later. It was hard to pretend like he didn't know anything and laugh along with everyone, but that feeling of guilt and ache in the pit of his stomach was horrible.

They finish filming and all hang out for a couple hours, deciding to go out and get food. Simon suggested Nando's, so that's where they went. It's not usually his first choice, but he knows Harry will like it, who was quiet during the whole deciding conversation. Simon looked at Harry with pure guilt when they all agreed on Nando's, i just want him to he happy, why've i got to be such a dick, he thinks to himself as he looks down at his hands, playing with the ring on his pinky finger in shame.

Harry notices Simon and his choice, that it's not usually his go to. He fucking knows doesn't he... how does he always knows, Harry mentally facepalms as he realises Simon is too good at picking up when Harry's been a numpty. He lightly sighs with a coverup smile to everyone as they go to Nando's and all hang out.

They all finally go back to their own places, JJ asking Simon why he's been so quiet who just shrugs with a simple tired i guess. He goes to his bedroom and lies down, lost in thought. He finds himself tearing up as he thinks of Harry, i wasn't there to help, i wasn't supportive, i didn't check on him, i'm an asshole, is some of the repetitive thoughts going through Simons mind. He finally just falls asleep with dried tears on his cheeks and his phone in his hand, a half written message to Harry, simply checking on him, to anxious and guilt ridden to actually complete it yet alone send it.

Simon finally wakes up at about 9pm, realising he's been asleep for almost three hours, he gets up to shower. He gets in, hot water hitting his face, but he just feels tense- images going through his mind of when he first found Harry in the shower. The blades on the tiles and the small pool of blood. Harry just looked so numb. Simon remembers how quickly he reacted, he didn't even care about his clothes getting wet, he knelt down beside a nonchalant Harry and slowly pulled the blade from his hand and then turned off the shower. He gently pulled Harry up and wrapped him in a towel and just hugged him. He held him for ages. It was at Harry's house at the time so he slowly took Harry out the bathroom and to his bedroom, carefully putting him on the bed and then getting Harry some comfy clothes to put on. He made sure that the wound was clean and got some bandages and extremely large plasters. For the next week, Simon constantly checked on Harry, making sure he's okay and being safe.

Simon finally got out the shower, he was tearing up again at the memory. Harry wouldn't talk to anyone, only Simon, and even then it was barely. He wasn't planning on telling Simon, he was caught and hated himself but Simon helped fix it and he's been clean since. But now he's doing it again and all Simon wants to do is help. Simon got dressed in some joggers and a hoodie, grabbed his keys and yelled out to JJ he's going out who yelled back aight fam, have fun and with that, Simon slammed the door, got to his car and drove to Harry's.

His hands were shaking and his legs felts wobbly as he walked up to the door and knocked. He stepped back and took a deep breathe, trying to prepare himself. He could hear Cal through the door yelling at Harry to get it which made Simons nerves so much worse. Harry opens the door and his face is just full of confusion.

"What you doing here?" he asks with one hand on the door, Simon still stood outside it in the hallway. I wanted to check on you Simon said with a small genuine smile and apologise he added as he looked down. Harry then stepped out into the hallway with him, half closing the door so Cal couldn't hear. "What for?" Harry asked while crossing his arms and looking at Simon with a bit of an annoyed expression.

"Everything" is all Simon says and Harry furrows his eyebrows at him and Simon continues "i called you hurtful things that i didn't mean, i hate myself for it, i guess i was just- well scared of being caught and i- i took it out on you, but it was wrong of me to do and i- i am so so sorry" Simon says stuttering here and there, he understands if Harry doesn't want to forgive him, he wouldn't want to forgive himself either but Harry took him by surprise when he just hugged Simon and whispered it's okay, i forgive you and Simon just kissed the side of Harry's head with a light smile, trying not to cry.

Harry let's Simon inside and they go straight to Harry's bedroom. They put some telly on and just sit on Harry's bed. Simon pulls Harry close to him and let's him rests his head on his chest. Simon has a arm wrapped around Harry and just plants a gentle kiss on top of the latter's head.

"I know" Simon finally says after about an hour of cuddling. What? Harry asks as he pulls his head up to look at Simon, he feels his heartbeat quicken at the statement. "I know the signs, it's the same as before" Simon says with a shaky tone and face full of sadness as he looks down at Harry who only looks away as he feels the rock rise in his throat and lets a tear escape, knowing exactly what Simon is on about. I'm sorry he whispers and Simon turns Harry's face towards his, pecks his lips and says "don't be sorry, we'll get through this okay?" with a sad smile and Harry nods an okay as he rests his head back on Simons chest before they finally fall asleep.

(A/N) Ayyyeeee it's finally up, hope you all enjoy... i guess... it's a little sad but uno never mind.

Simon redemption i guess ?? lemme know what you all think of it

~ Ly x