VERBATIM - slow updates.

chapter eight.

TW: this chapter contains homophobia, abuse, self harm, mentions of suicide and blood. read at your own risk and please be careful :)

"i never thought my own daughter would be as much of a whore as you are. you are absolutely unbelievable! i give you everything, i made you perfect at everything and this is what you do? embarrass me, in front of everyone that we know?"

i had been collected by my mother from Dr Quintero's house fifteen minutes ago, and now i sat in the entrance to my 'home', as my mother finally letting her emotions flood out of her after being built up by a dam from the entire situation, that i had caused.

"the first day. you couldn't even go one single day without ruining everything! how much of a fuck up can you be?" she exclaims, pacing around frantically in front of me. her heals clacking away loudly as she walked.

my head was bowed in shame as i knew exactly how this would end.

"let's get this straight. you try and seduce a classmate, force yourself on him - like a slut - waste not one but three of your teacher's times, and now you're faking this fucking shoulder injury? are you serious? you're so ungrateful!"

she had now stopped, adjacent to my quivering body, she was furious. her entire body was practically shaking with rage as she stared directly down at my pathetic, useless figure.

"i don't even know how i can fix this. we can't move schools again, you already ruined the last one..." she began, once again ranting about my mistakes.

my head raised at her words, as i subconsciously attempted to defend myself. "m'am, you know that i didn't mean to-" i whimpered but was sharply cut off.

her manicured hand shot up and wrapped itself around my newly-casted arm, his nails digging into the fabric deeply as she glared daringly at me.

"you knew exactly what you were doing. you knew just how disgusted i would be - no, how everyone would be - when they saw you with her! you knew what people would think if they found out i had a faggot as a daughter! you knew! yet, you did it anyway! because you're selfish! you were selfish then, and you're selfish now! you never change!"

tears were cascading down her face at a rapid speed now, her body was burning hot as her grip tightened, partially raising me off the ground with her hold. her features contorted with fury as she spoke, spit flying out of her mouth with each syllable.

"mum-"

"shut up! shut up, shut up! you don't get to call me that! never! i'm not your mother! you are not my daughter! you are nothing but a disgusting, pathetic, little burden that i can never seem to get rid of! no matter how much i try you always just, come back! i hate you! i hate you so much!" she screamed, shaking my body with her hand as she spoke.

i knew she hated me, subconsciously i was aware, no mother who had even an ounce of love for their child would treat me the way she had, yet, hearing her say those words broke me in a way i hadn't been broken before. her words were like daggers, slicing through my heart and shredding it into a thousand, unrecognisable pieces, until there was nothing left.

my body went limp in her grasp. after years of torture, abuse and neglect, she finally shattered my soul. any will that i had left was gone, she hated me.

my own mother hated me.

"fucking pathetic." she mumbled, noticing that i had collapsed in on myself. "you're going to be working extra fucking hard for this one. this is almost irredeemable." she spat, dragging me along behind her as she began to walk down the hallway.