VERBATIM - slow updates.

Chapter ten.

TW: MENTIONS OF RAPE/SEXUAL ABUSE. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY.

for many, sex is told to be something important, something special and something that you shouldn't take lightly as it happens between those you are in love with and only them.

for others, sex is told to be something normal, something you shouldn't be ashamed of and something that is perfectly beautiful as long as you are safe.

for me, it was torture.

my eyes watched the man above me as he clenched his eyes shut, his teeth encasing his thin bottom lip as he jutted into my ruthlessly, sending shots of pain throughout my lower body; though, it had happened so often that now i barely felt it.

i had never even been told the wonders of what sex could truly be, i had never been told that it can actually be pleasurable for me, not just for the perpetrator. i was living in ignorance, i was missing out and i didn't even know it.

soon enough he collapsed on my weakened body, his larger and heavier frame smothering me in sweat as he rubbed against me.

"that was perfect," he grunted as he pulled out of me slowly, savouring the lasts bits of my warmth before i would be gone for at least a month. "i will see you soon, i'm back to being a regular customer so you'll be seeing a lot more of me," he grinned, leaning down and pressing a sloppy, disgusting kiss on my forehead, before standing up and reclothing.

i slowly sat up, ignoring the ache in my body from my joints protesting and telling me to remain still. "thank you, Mr Amaral" i whispered as i glanced down at the hard wood floor, not wanting to see his grimy figure any longer.

mother had always told me that to be a good hostess and a polite girl i must thank those who i serve, regardless if i liked it or not; it wasn't about me.

"it's no problem, sweetheart. i know you like it, i can see it in your eyes" he smirks cockily, waving his hand once before leaving the room swiftly.

i thought that i was free from this torture for at least another few weeks but mother was growing bored of me and torturing me was her prime entertainment. As the door slowly swung closed from his exit, i release a long and deep exhale.

I hadn't missed this feeling. The ghost of his hands crawling up my skin. the indents of his jagged nails still imbedded in the flesh of my shoulder. A constant chill on each of my arm hairs, they stood upright in fear that he may return. My body quivering with the after shock.

But, most of all, the dirtiness. My hands felt filthy, my entire body was filthy.

With that thought, I shot out of bed, my knees threatening to buckle as I raise up from the comforter. I slowly make my way to the attached bathroom, my hands clinging to the door frames as my force myself through it.

Cleanliness, something i yearned.

I pulled open the shower door, turning the handle full force as a sudden gush of boiling water sloshed out onto the glass. My body sunk away from the heat as i felt it sizzle my skin, yet I didn't evade. I needed this. I needed the inflicted skin gone, I needed to be clean.

My nails frantically picked at my skin, attempting desperately to peel the flesh off of my bones, I would do anything to rid myself of the feeling of his touch. Of all of their touches. I just wanted to be free.

With that, my body sunk to the floor, blood rising to the surface of my arms and legs from my deliberate attack, tests cascading down my cheeks.

I was weak.

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School felt different now. It had gone from my escape, my only peace away from home where I thought that no one could hurt me. To, a nightmare.

As i walked down the hallway, my hands gripping  the straps of my backpack, my eyes on the linoleum as I walked; I couldn't meet their eyes. Everybody must had heard the news, since they were all staring at me.

I had known all kinds of exposure, I had been bare in front of hundreds of people, but this...was something else. It felt like they could see through me, they weren't looking at my skin but they were looking at my past, some in disgust, some in jealousy.

Why they would want Alaric to touch them was beyond me.

As i made my way to class, I couldn't stop thinking about them. If they knew just how broken and used I was they would never speak to me again, if they knew how impure, disgusting I was.

My mood was plummeting endlessly, it seemed like every thought I had only made me fall farther into the pit of depression that I couldn't seem to climb out of.

Sitting down, the class began to quiet as Mr Griffin glanced around the room, as though he was searching for something. My eyes were planted on his face, he was so beautiful I couldn't understand how he could even exist being this perfect. Once his eyes landed on something behind me, a small - almost invisible - smile formed on his face, his eyes filling with relief.

My heart dropped, someone was making him so happy. I shouldn't even be upset, he's my teacher, he's an adult. He's kind. I don't deserve kindness, i don't deserve him. He wouldn't even like me, anyway.

"Alright, class!" He speaks, the whole classes attention finding him as they stare at the man. "I hope you actually read the novel that I gave you last week, because today we're going to be making a presentation on how the character's relationships effected the storyline! Get in pairs, be quick." He commands with a beautiful smile gracing his face.

My eyes fall to my desk as the class erupts with noise, all of the students finding their friends as they pair up. I had no one.

"Aphrodite, come speak to me outside for a moment. I need to catch you up on everything that you've missed" he says, a soft smile as he beckons me over with his large hand.

I trailed behind him outside the class, gently closing the door behind me. I didn't look up, I didn't want to offend him, i couldn't disrespect him.

Slowly, his hand raised up and grasped my chin, lifting my gaze to his face. The question he asked was something that I hadn't been asked for a long, long time.

"Are you okay, Aphrodite?"

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Im so sorry for the wait, I'm really bad at keeping a schedule. This chapter is not the best, I apologise.

Word count - 1140.

Let me know what you though :)

Thank you!!