Girl With Golden Eyes

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Why?

It's been a year now since I was thrown away into the white trash bin they call a mental hospital. I've g

one even more insane, if it's even possible. The only thing I can see around me it's the whiteness of the horrid padded room, they called it solitary confinement, I call it hell's jail. The people here, they aren't very kind at all, some yell at me, some pretend to be nice to me then end up killing me a little bit more. That's why I don't trust anyone, the only person that I would trust is me, the devil, and well this man will go unsaid…but he has calmed me down slightly. His lyrics soothe me, but there's one message that I have yet to understand….how is life beautiful? Life it's filled with death, blood, war, carnage. You can't find beauty in that! Yet I still believe in this man….but you can't spell believe without the lie, so who knows, it's not like I'll ever meet him, but he did save my life….I'm now seventeen and this hospital is driving me to the point where if I get a knife I would stab every single person in this facility!

They hardly let me spend time outside but when they do there courtyard is beautiful. I get to go out once every week, today was that day…..

As I lay there in my uncomfortable white sheeted bed in my white painted room, I hum my favorite song quietly… "She speaks to me in Persian Tells me that she loves me The girl with golden eyes" I hum only to be rudely interrupted by my metal yet white padded door bursting open. In walked two large men one his skin was slightly dark and the other had very pale skin, both were bald and muscular, they both wore white jackets and white pants.

"Kelsi!" the pale man said strictly, his name is Jeff,

"hmm?" I grunted angrily at them.

"Don't give us attitude young lady!" the man with the darker skin, Derek, said.

"Why shouldn't I! I have every right to-"

"No you don't and it's that time of the week now get your lazy ass out of bed and get the fuck outside!" Jeff yelled. I sigh as I crawl out of bed and onto the floor, as I did so I trip over my feet and fall to my knees.

"GET THE FUCK UP!" Jeff yells as I sit there panting heavily. I slowly get up to my feet, I walk over to the muscular men and the both grab my arms tightly and drag me out of the room.

Walking down the white painted halls we slowly reach a door which leads to the courtyard. As the men open the door they throw me to my knees onto the hard cemented walk way.

"Enjoy the fresh air while it lasts bitch! You have 2 hours" The two men said at slammed the door shut. The courtyard was breath taking, there was a straight cement walk way that went across the large courtyard, on the left there were many beautiful trees and on the right there was a small water fountain. At this moment there were no others outside so I was alone. I walked over to the left side, I crept towards the old large elm tree. As I approached it I looked around keeping in check, making sure no one's there. And no one is, I quickly reach into my bra which is covered only by a white gown, and I pull out my small shuffle iPod that I had snuck into here. You see the say I died I had put the small shuffle into my white bra and hid the charger in my black jacket. After retrieving my iPod from my bra I carefully climb up the tree. I sit on the third from the highest branch and slip the small black ear buds into my ears. I turn on the iPod and press the play button. A song came on and I started to sing it, "everybody gets high everybody gets low everybody bruised everybody gets sold" I sang Van Nuys by one of my favorite bands Sixx: A.M. Nikki Sixx is the man who inspired me to not try suicide for a second time….he saved my life. As I ponder on my antics on suicide I start to silently cry… and one question comes to my mind the question that I should have asked myself befor I tried suicide befor I tried heroin befor I tried cutting….Why?...

2 hours went by like a living hell listening to the whole heroin diaries soundtrack at least 3 times. As the time neared I shut off my iPod and placed it back into my bra. I slowly climbed down the tree but… I slipped. I fell from the tree hitting several branched causing them to cut into my skin causing me to bleed which caused me to moan in pleasure of the fire coursing through my body I fell limply onto my back on the hard grassy ground. I heard a few cracks the cracks of my bones braking as felt the darkness over come me it was same darkness I felt the day I died, as I passed out limply on the ground.