Girl With Golden Eyes

Chapter 4

"How is Life beautiful?" I asked and he just stared at me with a smile on him face

"Because you only get to live once don't take it for granted, life is something that should be savored…you'll have to open your eyes to see that." He said as I just stared at him and tilted my head in confusion

"In other words you'd have to see life a better way than this" he said taking my syringe out of his pocket and pointing to the scares on my body.

"There's one scare I didn't show you" I said

"What is it" he asked curiously as I turned around and lifted my long midnight black hair of my neck behind my hair on the back on my neck was deeply engraved SIXX in all capital letters rather largely. I felt Goosebumps start to appear on my arms as Nikki slowly and gingerly traced the scar each letter at a time.

"You need to stop this" he said

"I know b-b-but I can't"

"why not" he asked as I put my hair down and faced him again.

"I-I-….. I'm afraid of needles" I said

"I'm confused here" he said

"If I stop cutting I'll need heroin to keep me sane….but I'm afraid of needles…." I said and trailed off.

"If you're afraid of needles then why did you start heroin in the first place!" he asked confused and shocked.

"I-I'm afraid of….." I trailed off again cutting off my sentence.

"of what?" he asked.

"I'm afraid of…Me" I said as tears slowly crept out of my eyes

"Why" he asked.

"I killed myself once I know I'll do it again…this place isn't helping either, it's making me more insane if there's one thing I truly fear in this goddamned world it's mental hospitals" I said now shaking and whimpering as Nikki pulled me into a slight hug

"I can see why this place would make you more insane the staff are terrible." He said then I broke out in tears shaking violently in his arms as I buried my head in his chest.

"What's wrong" he asked worried

"O-one of the staff they, they, they…" I couldn't finish my sentence

"What did they do did they hurt you" He asked in a kind loving voice. I nodded

"He, he…raped me." I said burying myself deeper into his chest as he wrapped his arms around my small form.

"Shhh it'll be ok…why didn't you tell anybody?" he asked

"I-I did b-but nobody believed me!" I whined as I slowly snuck my hand into his pocket finding what I was looking for as I brought the needle to my arm but befor I could inject my body full of its venom Nikki grabbed the needle from my hand ad through it across the room

"NO" He said sharply

"P-PPLEASE!" I begged and he just shook his head.

"I promise I will talk to the staff about your issue you had with them…what was his name?" he asked

"Jeff" I replied.

After talking to Nikki after another half hour it was time for him to leave

"Please Don't abandon me now I don't wanna die…..please don't leave me! They're going to break me even more" I pleaded

"I wont let them do that too you I promise, I'll be back tomorrow in the mean time don't get in trouble."

"no promises" I said and he gave me one last hug. And I gave into my feelings and smiled but only for a second, but it was to late he saw me and smiled back.

"you know that was the first time I have smiled in….5 years…thank you." I said I said and hugged him one more time before he left.

I sat there in the corner of my room when I remembered forgot my little syringe. I ran over to it and headed to my bathroom and slid the syringe back into the hole. While in there I was determined to fine a sharp object I looked into the mirror and smashed it, glass flew everywhere as I picked up a piece of glass and sliced my wrist open with it bleeding out everywhere on the floor. Thankfully I didn't loose enogh blood to pass out so I started cleaning up my mess and put the frame of the picture on the floor so I could say it fell of the wall. I hid a few pieces of glass in the hole where I stored my precious heroin I also grabbed the piece of cloth I used to tie down my arm to hide my cut and to make the bleeding stop. Now my only problem was getting rid of the blood. I grabbed a towel from the cabinet and whipped it up. I them snuck out of my room and threw away the towel in the trash bin. I them made my way back to my room sighing in relief that I made it back alive. I them passed out in my bed falling into a deep sleep.

"Kelsi!" I heard a female voice say and I recognized it instantly. 'Oh shit not again' I thought to myself

"Kelsi." Hannah said

"why haven't you gone to visit me?" she asked

"BECAUSE IM STUCK IN THIS DAMN HELL HOLE!" I yelled

"I'm sorry Hannah I miss you so much and it's all my fault!"I shouted

"No it's not you didn't know" Hannah said

"no It's my fault it's my fault" then I felt the room shift.

"It's My DAMNED FAULT!" I shouted not noticing I was awake till I saw the loving face of Nikki Sixx

"what's your fault" he asked curiously

"My best friend's death" I said