Dear ash,
How are you? You can say you are fine but truly...How are you? How did it make you feel when they showed up in your life once more? Did it make you happy? Were you thinking? "I wish I never said anything" Do you still get jealous when you see them talking to someone else? You had moved on, right? Then tell me why your eye long for them. Tell me why you smiled when you received a message from them. Tell me why you laughed at something that wasn't funny. Tell me why you felt like crying. Tell me why you told me that you felt your chest tighten when you saw that they wanted to go back with their ex and all you could do is be a good friend. Tell me why I saw you blush... Are they worth it? Going through all of it again.. why do you still choose them over anyone else? Is it because they had made you feel so safe or is it because of their personality that amazing personality that constantly made you aww when you saw how embarrassed and flustered they could get that you just wanted to tease them for..why do you say you have moved on? when I can see it on your face it's bright as daylight you wish to be in their arms you wish to hugged them you wish you can still touch their hair while they lay on your lap I saw how calm it made you feel I saw how you wish that moment could last forever you even told me yourself "I wish this could last forever"...so tell me have you really moved on? Or are you just putting up a show and trying to forget so that you don't cause any more problems for them so that you are no longer feel like a burden so that the people you are close with don't get upset at you, you know you shouldn't be thinking negatively you know you mustn't have these feelings you know you mustn't have these thoughts it will just cause unnecessary problems yet here you are telling me how you wish to go back to that time, the time before things got out of hand before... You said "things would have been better that way don't you think? If I hadn't said anything" Ash tell me how much pain do you have to go through until you give up forever you know they don't want you, you know they don't want you in their life yet you have patiently been waiting for a response from them even after they left you on read you still think you have a chance don't you? That's why you are still waiting even if it's just as friends you are still waiting...you told me you didn't regret feeling this way that you just want them to be happy and loved..you want someone to make them so happy and make them laugh so much.. that they enjoy their life to the fullest
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It's funny, isn't it? Loving someone you know will never see you the way that you see them...I don't want you to go through this again...I can't see you fall apart once more...so are they worth it?
