Keep Breathing ♢ James Potter

5 | Sirius's Letter

From the moment Harry arrived at the Burrow to when he finally sank into his bed in the Gryffindor dorm, he felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened.

On the ride to Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had spent most of the time discussing what they had seen Draco and Mrs. Malfoy doing in Knockturn Alley. In an attempt to investigate further, Harry had snuck into the Slytherin compartments using his invisibility cloak. What seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, ended in disaster—he was stunned and left with a broken nose after being stepped on by Draco.

Soon after, Luna found Harry, and together, they made their way to Hogwarts. The Golden Trio learned that Professor Slughorn would be the new Potions teacher, while Snape had taken the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Harry had thought things couldn't get worse than having Dolores Umbridge as a teacher, but Hogwarts once again proved him wrong.

Now, sitting alone in the dorm, Harry found his mind wandering back to the letter Astrid had left for his father in the journal. He had been avoiding reading the second letter ever since, unsure of what it might contain.

After reading the first letter, Hermione had warned Harry that the book could contain dark magic, much like Tom Riddle's diary. After all, what other book had they seen in which the writing magically appeared? But Harry, eager to uncover how Astrid knew his father, decided to read the journal on his own, without telling his friends.

He waited until all the boys were out of the room before carefully reaching into his trunk to retrieve the journal. Its cover was black leather, tied with a string that had begun to fray with age. It wasn't in terrible condition, but it looked well-worn, like something that had been through much more than its share of years.

Harry opened the journal once more, reaching for the letters tucked inside. He hadn't gotten to read the second letter the night before with Hermione and Ron, so now, he planned to discover who else Astrid had left a letter for.

To his surprise, the letter he opened wasn't written by Astrid at all, but by Sirius.

Dear Harry,

If you've found this, it means this journal has somehow made its way to you, and that I am now reunited with your father. I leave this journal to you in hopes that you will find the answers to all your questions.

I wish I could have answered them myself, but you've likely already discovered the magic of the journal. Astrid was incredibly talented, especially when it came to creating spells and potions. She enchanted this journal so that it would only open for those she chose. Depending on who you are, the book will reveal only what she allowed it to.

Because of my Black family blood, the journal reveals only some of the memories meant for me. I believe this was Astrid's way of keeping her life private—of ensuring our family would never uncover her secrets.

I suspect, however, that you, Harry, will have more access to it than I did. Not because of who you are—Astrid died before you were conceived—but because of your blood. The blood of James Potter.

Astrid carved her deepest secrets into the binding of this journal, and before you read them, I want you to understand something.

James loved Lily, Harry. He loved you and your mother with all his heart and soul. But what Astrid and James shared was a different type of love. It was sacrifice. It was putting each other first, even at great cost. They were each other's strength, their reason to keep going. They kept each other alive, even after death. That is, before he had you.

I hope you can understand why no one ever mentioned Astrid before. It's because no one knew of her and James's relationship. It was kept secret for many years, and I believe that's how Astrid wanted it to remain.

I don't know the full details of their relationship while she was alive. All I know is that James cared for her more than I ever did.

With that, I wish you the very best, Harry. I know one day we will all be reunited, and we can be a family once more.

Padfoot

Harry sat in stunned silence as he read the letter. He felt a mix of unease and curiosity, unsure whether he wanted to know what the journal might reveal. He wasn't sure if he was ready to learn why his father had been so close to someone like Astrid—someone with such a dark past. But Harry knew himself well enough. His curiosity would get the better of him.

"Here goes nothing," Harry whispered to himself as he opened the journal to the first entry.