Look at me

Part 3

Fiat moaned as he felt Leo slightly tug at his nipple. Fiat without his shirt was impossible to resist for Leo. The smooth, pale skin that was his for taking made Leo feel warm all over. As he made his way to Fiat's neck and bit lightly on that sensitive spot, he felt Fiat run his hands on his chest down to his.....

Leo woke up immediately as if cold water had been splashed on him. Fiat wasn't with him, he was in his own house as he had been for the last two months. Other than the occasional run-ins at college, they had barely seen each other. And basketball was not an option since Fiat still couldn't play due to his ongoing physical therapy. 

Leo missed Fiat. He missed him a lot. He missed Fiat being childish, he missed their fights, which he now recognized were Fiat's attempts at getting his attention, he missed the light-heartedness that Fiat bought to his life with his easy smile and mischievous eyes. Most of all, he missed being able to tell Fiat things. 

As he got up to get himself some water, his mind went to the last time he had seen Fiat. It was a week after that day, when fiat had come to meet him. 

"Leo, I am going to start seeing a therapist.", said Fiat.

"What? Why do you need a therapist Fiat? What are you doing?", asked Leo.

"Leo, I have spent most of my life being scared that people will leave me. That is the reason I held back my feelings for so long and that is what made me go after P'Type. I don't want to feel that way anymore Leo. Which is why I want to start therapy.", said Fiat.

Leo understood this. It made sense. he was aware of Fiat's abandonment issues and even he wanted Fiat to be able to get over them. He would support Fiat's decision for therapy.

"I support you Fiat. I will be by your side through it all.", said Fiat as he reached out for Fiat's hand.

Fiat held himself back. "Leo, I will not be seeing you for a while now.", said Fiat.

Leo felt the dread that he had been feeling for the past week rise up in him once again when Fiat said that.

"Why Fiat?", asked Leo. He was struggling to not shake Fiat and bind him to himself.

"Leo, for the longest time, I have not told you how I felt because I was afraid of losing you. I considered you my one anchor, and I feel a huge part of that was because I think I was projecting my abandonment issues on to you. And that is precisely why, I can't see you, while I seek therapy."

Fiat's argument made sense to Leo. He knew he was right. But he could not shake the fear that he would lose Fiat. What if Fiat decided that he never wanted to see Leo? What if he couldn't forgive him? What if Fiat decided that he did not love him after all?

"Fiat, do you really never want to see me?", asked Leo, on the verge of tears.

"That's not what i said Leo. All I am saying is that I can't see you for some time. Because it is high time that i stopped relying on you to take care of me or support me or carry my emotional baggage. I love you and I don't want to put you through that. On the other hand, I also don't know what to think about you after what happened. Which is why it is best that we stay away from each other.", said Fiat, extremely composed.

"I am sorry Fiat. I really am. I cannot tell you how much i regret my actions from that day. I shouldn't have done that. Please Fiat. Don't leave me.", begged Leo falling to his knees. 

Seeing this, Fiat kneeled in front of Leo and held his hands. Leo grabbed the back of Fiat's neck and touched their foreheads while Fiat put a hand on Leo's shoulder. 

"Leo, I have always thought about myself and that came from a place of selfishness and fear. Back then, you were with me. Now, I am still thinking about myself but this is coming from a place of wanting to be better. Can you support me now? Please. For all our years if friendship, can you do this for me?", pleaded Fiat and he did not stop the tears that came from him this time.

Leo broke down completely. He couldn't stop the tears and both the boys just hugged each other and cried a lot. After what felt like a long time, Fiat broke away and got up.

"I will call you when I can.", said Fiat as he turned to leave. He looked at Leo sobbing one last time before he walked out the door, with a heavy heart himself.

It had been almost two months since. Not a single day had gone by when Leo had not thought about this. He knew that Fiat had told him to not be with him, but Leo couldn't move away. Not meeting with fiat, not hearing him laugh and not being able to see him whenever he wanted took every bit of strength he had. But he had waited and he would continue to do so. 

Note:

Hi there. What did you think of this update. Let me know please. I am on a mission to healthify Leo and Fiat's relationship. Am I on the right track? I would like some inputs.