People always ask 'why didn't you leave?"
"Why didn't you report them?"
"Why when you take or write about them do you use they/them?"
To answer their first question I was scared not just for me but for those i cared for,
And because I didn't want to be responsible for their death.
For your second question, I wasn't sure
How to classify what had happened to me
And I wasn't sure anyone else could to
I was scared of I told you so from my parents
I was afraid of what others would say
I didn't want to be in the news
Or even another fail statistic
I wasn't sure if people would believe me
Of that, I'd come even close to getting justice.
And third, I don't use their actually pronouns
Because I'm still scared
Of it all
Of them finding this
Of they finding me
Of them punishing me for writing this about them
Even now I write this through a tear stand face
And with hands shaking from fear.
But since I'm writing it
I might as well use their proper pronouns
because this doesn't actually help the fear go away
So He was a friend of a friend
And He is their reason my writing is so dark
