(Warning!! Fowl language)
These days come and go
The days where everything seems to
Come crashing down around me
And even the mention of his name
Can cause me to
have a break down
Where I will cry for hours
His name name still controls me
Even if he doesn't live near me
I alway think
"Yes this'll be the day he come after me
This'll be the day he makes good on all of his threats"
And so I walk a little more carefully
Always aware
Always scared.
And when I tell other people the first thing they ask
Is
"What was his name?"
So I lie
Or make an excuse
Anything to not say his name out loud.
Because saying his name would be to call him to me
Or to except all the shit I went through.
Or all the fucked up stuff I went through.