the girl who lost it all [d.m]

thirty three: invidus

invidus: envious, jealous, grudging

———

DRACO had been stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid for thinking he could make up for what he had done. Stupid for thinking he could kiss her once and she'd fall for him all over again. Stupid for thinking she wanted him past her attraction to him.

Stupid for thinking anything had changed between them.

Hadn't he been the one forcing himself to stay away from her? Hadn't he been the one convincing himself that she was better off without him? How had he let go of that so quickly? How could he have let himself kiss her?

And then to—to give the closest to a confession he'd ever give. To tell her not to push away something they both wanted. It was the closest he'd ever been to telling her how he felt.

And she'd thrown it back in his face. Delivered retribution, cold and clear cut. There hadn't even been a waver in her voice.

He'd wanted to go after her when she left him on the porch. He'd even reached for the door handle.

But she'd made it clear what she felt about him. She obviously didn't want him around anymore. So he had let his hand drop.

And now, whenever he needed to talk to Potter, he made sure he did so by the treeline—rather than at the safehouse itself.

As far away from her as he could get.

Astoria slid off him, her face flushed, her hair a mess from where he'd torn his hands through it. It was too docile, he'd decided. Her hair. It was soft and smelled nice but—but it slid through his fingers like silk.

Nothing for him to take hold of and fist like he loved to do with—

He stopped that train of thought before it went any further.

"Are those new?"

Draco glanced up as he propped himself up onto his elbows, the sheets draped over his abdomen. Astoria's gaze was fixed on the pink scar on his chest as she shrugged on her robe, her body completely bare underneath.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You just noticed? I've had this since the attack in Poland."

Her rosy lips pursed. "I didn't realise. How did they even get you? You're ten times as powerful as any of them."

"I already told you," he said, wincing slightly as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. "They ambushed me while I was surveying the Apparition wards."

She nodded, slowly. "Right."

But Astoria was smart—and he wasn't sure if she still believed his lie.