f*ck i fell in love with my best friend

Chapter 3

Today I feel like I might have either been really funny or just embarrassed myself. Probably both. For example I pulled the hood of his hoodie today and he said "Aah, you're choking me. Unfair" and it just flew out of me "Then choke me to make it fair" and in my ears that just sounded really wrong. I also complimented him on his new hair cut and then jokingly complained that i couldn't pull his hair. Then he hit me with the " But I still can pull yours" and I can't get it out of my head.

We play a guess the code game on the breaks to pass time. He as I mentioned is incredibly analytical so he is very good at the game. I'm also smart, but not as logical as him. So obviously I asked him for help. Partly because I needed it, partly because I wanted to discuss with him. As expected he jokingly made fun of me, we quarreled a bit and our knees brushed against eachother. And let me be honest that gave me butterflies.  I'm sure that I'm going insane, I have never felt this way before.

This feels a little bit like Tom Riddles diary from Harry Potter. I'm just writing in my thoughts here and who knows what will happen. I hope this writing will at least give me a bit of clarity or something to look back at. Maybe someone even will read this someday. Who knows?

I wonder if I'm in love or have a crush on him or if I'm just in love with the idea of him.

I am proud of myself because I was more confident and myself today.