f*ck i fell in love with my best friend

Chapter 2

I ruffled his hair today. His curly redbrown dark hair. He let me massage his shoulders today. It was funny cause somebody put all the lights off in our classroom and it became very dark and immediately when the lights came back on I quickly took my hands off him as if I'd been ashamed. I don't think he made any notice of that but who knows. He is still very analytical. I wonder if he has analysed that I kinda have been flirting with him. Have I even been flirting with him? Love is so confusing. I have at least for now decided that I definetly will wait for him to do the first, or maybe hundred, but final, crucial move. I think one of the reasons I started to see him as a potential "more than friends person" was because he borrowed his glowes to me when my hands were ice cold when we were running together in p.e. in atunum. At least that is one of the first times I really felt butterflies because of him.
I love our conversations. He is somehow so interesting and he listens so well. He also makes fun of me. Really sweetly though. We always laugh together. It's so sad we can't meet elsewhere then in school now. It's not the same in school. Noone can really be truly themself in school i think.
I am sure that if I told him this he would laugh at me for being so silly. And maybe kiss my forehead. AAH why do I feel like this? I never thought I would feel this way about a boy.