Spirit in the Sky: Rocket Raccoon x Reader

Explaining Things, aka, I've Got a Dad Now

A/N: Sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I'll make it up to you somehow. Sorry for the short chapter too. I realized I needed to get something out.

So...

Stuff happened...

The Guardians, Ego, and I are sitting around a campfire...

And apparently he's Peter's and my father...

So...

Yeah...

The only thing I can't put my finger on is why his name sounds so familiar. Like, deja vu or something.

Anyways. Ego... Dad? Whatever. He's talking to us and explaining some things.

"I hired Yondu to pick Peter up when his mother passed away, and (Y/N) when I found her mom hadn't kept her-"

"Hold up... I have a mom?!" I shout out my thoughts to no one in particular.

Peter snorts. "Of course you do, idiot. He just said you do."

"Sure, I'm the idiot, Peter." 

"Children, please!" Ego interrupts. We snap our gazes to him. He continues. "But instead of returning you, Yondu kept both of you. I have no clue as to why."

"Well, I'll tell you why. Because we were skinny little kids who could squeeze into places adults couldn't. It made it easier for thievin'," Peter explained.

"Well, I've been trying to track you two down ever since."

"I thought Yondu was your father," Drax tells us. Um... What?

 "What? We've been together this whole time, and you thought Yondu was our actual blood relative?" Peter states what all of us are thinking.

"You look exactly alike," he gestures to me as if to point out this fact.

"One's blue!" Rocket defends, before remembering to be mad at me.

Drax looks at me for confirmation.

"No, he's not our father! Yondu was the guy who abducted us, kicked the crap out of us so we could learn to fight, and kept us in terror by threatening to eat us!" I shout.

"Eat you?!" Ego furrows his brow incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Oh, that son of a bitch."

"How'd you locate us now?" Gamora asks the sensible question, like usual.

"Well, even where I reside, out past the edge of what's known, we've heard tales about the man they call Star-Lord and the woman they call Hecate. What do you say say we head out there right now? Your associates are welcome. Even that triangle-faced monkey there." Rocket raises his hands to his cheeks to see if his face is really triangle. I catch his eye for a moment and shake my head. Then we both remember to be angry with each other, whip our heads around, and glare at the air. Ego takes no notice of this and continues talking.

"I promise you it's unlike any other place you've ever seen. And there, I can explain your very special heritage. I'll Finally get to be the father I've always wanted to be. Excuse me. I've gotta take a whiz."'

And with that, my newfound father leaves to go pee.

Peter meets my eyes, then Gamora's. He shakes his head. "I'm not buying it."