Tamaki Amajiki x Reader | Fluff ♡

Tamaki Amajiki x Reader I Closer To Despair

This is a songfic based on a song titled:
Despair by Leonardo Pereira.

Tamaki's POV

'I've lost my cool, I'm not sure how to act.'

There she goes again, making butterflies flutter around inside my stomach. She is oblivious to the things she makes me feel, and stupid actions she makes me do. (Y/n) (l/n) without warning I have fallen in love with you.

'Not even sure how I can keep my pride intact.'

I always wated to look cool right in front of you. I want to show you that I could be brave and strong for you. Maybe you might want me.

'Well I don't know if this is it but can't you see?'

Your smile is charming, I've loved them from the verry beginning. Your laugh is a beautiful melody that plagues my ears. You have the kindness of an angel and it leaves me in a daze every single time. I dont want to keep fighting with myself. I dont want to hurt myself over and over again because of you.

'No I'm not falling for you, so please have mercy on me.'

"Tamaki kun! Good morning, would you like to walk to the classroom with me?"
How can I say no, when every word you say leaves my lips trembling. My mind would fog up and I could never seem to deny you, no matter how hard I try.

"O-okay."
I blurred out as she walked beside me. How her (h/l) (h/c) hair would bounce with her every step. How her (s/c) skin glimmers under the sun.

"Hey Tamaki kun, I was wondering...would you like to go study together in the library after class?"

"Y-yes. Sure..."

Timeskip-

'Cause it's not romantic, I swear.'

I walked alongside her as we made our way through the empty halls to the library. The sunset melts through the halls giving the it a gentle glow. Her (e/c) eyes would take in the color making it look like an autumn sky.

'I'm not gasping for air.'

Her soft hands would occasionally brush against mine making smile. My face feels warm. I want to hold her hand.

Timeskip-

She must be so tired. We have been studying quietly for a couple of hours now. All of a sudden her body leaned ito my shoulder. I sat there blushing, unable to move. I've always wanted to be close to her but I can't afford to look like a fool.

'I want you to be here, but please don't come near.'

I dream of one day being your darling, you being my bunny. My thoughts would wonder to you no matter how hard I try to focus.

"Y/n, s-stand up f-for me okay- it-its getting late...we shoud head back t-to the dorms." I stuttered as I gently held onto both her shoulders hoisting her up. She stumbled a bit as she held my shirt to regain balance

"Thank you...for studying with me today darling..."
I was madly blushing at this point. She called me Darling.

'Cause even though I'm pretty sure my head's exploding.'

She is probably just sleepy, it's past school hours and the sky was turning from lilac to jet-black. Suddenly her soft hand held mine tightly as we walked back to the dorms. Her hand feels so soft.

'I'm not ready for hand holding.'

"T-Tama w-we sh-should really walk f-faster."
She squeaked out as she squeezed my hand a little. Right, she has a fear of the dark...she hates it so much that she freezes right on the spot whenever the power goes out at the dorms. She's scared of not getting to see anything again.

'It's not love, I swear.'

'It might be closer to despair.'

"H-hey y/n chan, f-focus your eyes on m-me okay!"
I said a little bit too loud as I winced at the sound of my voice. I held her hand tightly.

"D-dance with me."
I said as I held both of her hands. The heat on my face not leaving for even a second. I want her to see me. Finally see that I am willing to do anything for her.

Readers POV

"J-just promise me yo-you won't disappear."
I stuttered out as I focused on Tamaki's indigo eyes.

"I pr-promise bunny..."
That's a cute nickname...He would always absentmindedly call me as well as butterfly if he had the chance. I loved it. He has always caught my attention from the verry beginning. I realised pretty quickly that I wanted to get to know him better but I never would have thought of having feelings for him.

I didn't want to risk it. Tamaki has awlays been a great friend to me and I would be perfectly fine with us being just friends, but if someone else decides to join the picture then I wont be able to bare the thought of loosing.

But here he is, ...dancing with me underneath a starry sky. The same skies I loathed. I never got the chance to wish on a shooting star because the darkness scares me but if I ever get the chance now...I would wish for Tamaki to love me like I love him. More than just a friend.

'No I don't want you to teach me how to dance
Get your heart away from me, you'll put me into a trance.'

"..."

'And even though I think about you day and night
I'm not sure if this whole love thing sounds quite right.'

'Cause it's not romantic, I swear.'

"Y/n I know th-this is a terrible t-time but-but I-I just want to let you know...I-...I l-love you, y-you d-dont have to-to be mine...I just want to let you k-know that-that I'll s-surrender all of me...i'll give you anything you want if-if you were t-to have me."

I looke at his features for a second. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. His indigo eyes avoiding my gaze as his hair slowly fell onto his cheeks. He has always made me feel better about myself, not once has he ever questioned the way I am.

'I'm not gasping for air.'

"Tamaki I love you, I've a-aways have been loving you. T-Tamaki you dont even h-have to try-you already h-had me! I w-was just scared. I realised, as long as you are-are with me I'll be alright."

No ones POV

'I want you to be here, but please don't come near.'

Tamaki and (y/n) were both terrified of confronting their feelings head on. The fear of loosing and gaining nothing out of love is unpredictable. Risking so much to gain nothing is only one out of two outcomes. We have the freedome of choosing to do something or nothing at all.

'Cause even though I'm pretty sure my head's exploding.'

Two star-crossed lovers under a sky littered with diamonds. How many wished to be in their place. Tamaki had his hands around (y/n)'s waist. (Y/n) had her arms loosely on Tamaki's neck as they slowly danced under the moonlight. Cheeks dusted a deep vermilion as their hearts were drumming erratically.

"I love you Tamaki."

"I love you too y/n."

Timeskip-

'I'm not ready for hand holding.'

"B-bunny p-people are st-staring at us..."

"Nonsense, love! They are staring at you."
(Y/n) immediately held Tamaki's hand as she dragged him along the park. Tamaki stared at his partner, perplexed and flushed ar the sudden action.

"What? Don't look at me with those indigo eyes-your mine. Plus I'm not taking any chances."
She said smirking at the male, while he awkwardly walked alongside her.

'It's not love, I swear.'

'It might be closer to despair.'

It's love, I swear.

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