THOUGHTS (A Gumball x Darwin Fanfic)

Milk And Blood

I'm not gonna stare, not even a little. I'm certainly not gonna get sad and self-destructive. Not over her.

You and her. How terribly cliche.

I cant sleep at night, you know? Even though the top bunk is far more comfy than the fish bowl, you're not there, beneath me.

Beneath me.

I try not to think about things like that. I mean, it's better than when I used to stare at you sleeping, mumbling just the slightest bit, and try to touch you. I never have been subtle, however, so I never tried. Not that I can now, you spend most nights at hers'.

It's just the slightest bit better in regards to touching yourself, however. I learnt from you, actually, funny thing. You were in the shower and I was gonna surprise you, but you surprised me. Those where some sounds you were making. They made me shifty and hot and uncomfortable, so I ran away.

I've been running away a lot nowadays. It's very unlike me.

I snuck out of our bedroom once, and tried what you did that I saw through the thin shower curtain. It was...something else. Especially since it took so little, just the memory of doing the same thing, your face if you accidentally walked in on me.

Me doing it to you.

I have very vivid dreams, you know? Mostly you standing in front of me, smelling of milk and blood, crying into me over someone who hurt you. I take pleasure in it, in your closeness.

"Why won't you tell me what's bothering you? Why must you resist me this way?"

Even in my dreams you're adorably selfish, needy. Vulnerable.

Other times you breathe into my ear and I shudder against you, the warmth is all-consuming and we mix in our sweat, beautiful and sultry, salty in my mouth.

I'm not that kind of man in the day, won't you hold me steady?

I'm sorry, I can't help it. I love you.

I love you, I love you.

It's almost as if a weight had been lifted from my gut as I admitted it to myself yesterday. The room was cold and dark and still; you weren't here. Not according my head, though. I pretended my left hand is yours, my right your mouth, on mine.

It was quite the evening.