THOUGHTS (A Gumball x Darwin Fanfic)

You Never Listen

They've raised her well, I find myself musing, and not just in regards to the heavenly golden she now wears so proudly.

Penny is one of the most beautiful girls in school right now and she deserves it too, Gumball has never ceased to imply. There is no reason to dislike her other than that of simple, crude jealousy, the searing sensation of someone other than yourself attaining what you believe is so rightfully yours.

If I actually stopped to think about it (an act I indulge in with enthusiasm of a child touching a scar again and again despite it hurting) most of jealousy is desire, the other part despair. You would know better. You were always so much more in tune with your emotions, bieng a big fat crybaby and all.

I didn't even know I had reproductive organs (visible ones, anyway), but I probably shouldn't be surprised. I grew lungs and legs for you. All for you, always for you. I've told you time and time again of my love for you, and how you're the most precious thing in the world to me.

You. Never. Listen.

Or maybe you do, but you don't comprehend what it really means. Perhaps innocence has always been your friend, but innocence lashes out and hurts everyone around you. And it'll hurt Penny too, someday. When that day comes, I'm the one who'll get to touch your hot, soft skin and make you unlearn innocence.

I thought of that yesterday. I was touching myself, the scar throbbing painfully but also, so good. It was slick and sensitive and fast and unnervingly hot, burning almost. When it all built up and there was this explosion of white-hot euphoria, I was empty and desolate. Because even through that high, it tasted thick and wet and bitter.

Because I was alone again and worse, you weren't there.

Oh stubborn, hyperenergetic, petty, over-sensitive, cowardly, loyal, stupid, kind, Gumball, I'm so in love with you.

God, I am so in love.