Life of a Useless Normboy

Prologue (2)

My tired body lying on the unpleasant and drab bed. I took a deep breathe to make sure this isn't a dream.

My body was drenched in cold sweat again. I adjusted my disoriented eyes. The vision of my ceiling wall was still moving like waves on an ocean. I quickly rolled to my side.

Still thinking about the nightmare I had; I reached to my phone and check the time.

[ 6:00 a.m.]

Its still fairly early.

I looked outside to the window opposite my bed. The sky was still dark. Faints of pale white clouds started to form. The rays of the sun has begun to pierce through the vast dark sky.

Why do we wake up? Why do it? Every day we wake up because we have a goal, an objective that has not been achieved or done? We wake up because we yearn for something? To survive?

I don't have a dream. I don't have goal? I have never thought about It even though I keep thinking about useless shit. Is it because I am afraid of my future? Or am I scared that what I have done in the past?

I'm thinking about it again. Mother told me to not think about it again. I can't think about it again. I can't think about it again.

My head began to hurt. I can't stand the pain in my head. It felt intense. I began to sweat again. I feel like I couldn't breathe.

In a state of panic I grabbed a small cylindrical container below my bed, opened the container and chucked some pills into my mouth.

The pain in my head began to subside. I feel calmer now.

These attacks are happening pretty often now.

Maybe my brain has started to give up.

I sluggishly stood up and checked my phone again.

[6:30 a.m.]

Its been 30 minutes.....

I went to the bathroom to clean myself up, changed into my school uniform,took my heavy bag, went downstairs and headed to the living room. In doing so I saw my mother lying on the sofa. I assume she's drunk.

At least she came back home...

I went back upstairs to find a blanket. I put the blanket on my mother. She shoved it away. I tried for a few times but she pushed it away again and again.

I gave up and went to school.

I have always walked alone to school.

Not like those anime or manga tropes about a childhood friend always follows the protagonist.

I like being alone. I've always liked being alone.

Alone makes me think more clearly and I don't need to bother someone else's feeling.

But a companion here and there is fine....

... Oh

I reached the front gate of my school.

Head's down, eyes on the floor, and walk straight.

I feel like everyone's watching me.

Their judgmental gazes looming over my whole body.

Its like I don't belong here.

I buried my face and continued to walk to my class.

[5 Duo]

Second class in science stream.

Chemistry and Biology.

19 Students.