Lungs

All You need is ask.

I fill my saddle bags with the food and water, id bought.
I leave.
I go.
Where?
I guess I'll just have to find out.
I didn't know what I wanted.
I stop a few towns over, a hair salon.
I go in.
__________
I exit, my hair now red, and trimmed.
I put in my earbuds, and head to a drug store..
"Okay, cherry red lipstick, a bandana, inhaler refills, and sunglasses." the clerk mocks, I cast him a look.
Exchange money and go. I head ever farther from the valley from Luke. I spend days on the road, three.
I stop in a motel on the ocean.
I bet I looked lost now, lost without a cause.
Weeks passed.
I entered a cathedral.
I sat in one of the wooden seats. Hand carved stone made Angels and godlike figures. a single priest lights the hundreds of candles one by one.
I watch, unaware that I can be seen, "you look lost" a kind voice makes me jerk.
The old priest who was lighting the candles looked at me.
I look down at my hands upon my lap and slink down into the seat.
"Yeah I guess I am"
"Hmm" he said sitting in the row with me a few spaces down.
"What are you looking for?" He says looking ahead to the candles.
"Me I guess"
"How come"
"Well I guess things have happened lately, I feel guilty for things I haven't done... I'm failing, they're failing"
"Who's failing child"
A lump comes up in my throat, I'm not sure why. "lungs"
he stands. "I want to show you something."
I look up at him, still kind, forgiving eyes.
I follow him to the candles surrounding the large stone angel, her arms open, welcoming the church's inhabitants.
"Do you know what these candles are child?"
"No" I look down at them, years of wax encase the table, and The floor.
"These are prayers, we light these candles for everyone to asks to be prayed for."
I looked at them, so many of them.
"This place was built in 1896, Timothy ginger recived a letter from the towns people of the hills requesting a place of worship, and he built this place with only three other men, and each one of those men had a candle for their loved ones."
"Why candles though, I mean they burn out right?"
"I think they represent ruff patches in our lives, saying that it'll all end soon, and that if you ask, for a prayer, you will receive."
I looked at him
"All you need is ask forgiveness and in the eyes of the lord you are saved." he said locking eyes with me.
I hug him.
"Thank you"
He smiles and pats my back.
"I gotta go find someone" I say running out of the church.