Tudor Rose

xvi. calamity

July 29, 1519

"Listen. I can hear her. Oh, is she crying?"

The voice hiding behind the door was unmistakable. How it's owner could have been there I was not sure, but I was relieved nonetheless. My sister's strident voice pierced the deafening silence that I had been enduring, like a warm, welcome hug from an old friend. The door swung open with a passionate screech and standing in the doorway was none other than my dear sister, Elizabeth Sedley.

I rushed to her side immediately and pulled her into a tight hug. "Lizzie! Oh, Lizzie, what in the world are you doing here?" I said, the words pouring out of me like water. "If Henry found out he would... oh, never mind that! I am just so glad to see you."

Elizabeth looked at me, endearing blue eyes looking into mine with worry and apprehension. She looked terrified, even more than I was. It was a peculiar moment, for we both knew that it would be the last time we'd meet. Neither wanted to admit it, of course, but the sharp, painful truth lingered over us like a cloud of grey.

"I just had to see you one last time," she said, voice racked with pain. A few tears spilled from her eyes as she embraced me again. "Anna, you are to die and I... I don't want to lose you, too. Not yet, not ever. Are you... is there truly no other way out of this?"

I shook my head faintly. "The warrant for my death has been signed already. I am surrendering my life for a greater cause."

"How very like you," she scoffed, "Always so self righteous, even as a child."

Lizzie turned away, sobbing into her hand dramatically. It hurt to see her so pained. Finally, she had the love that she always desired but as quickly as it came, it was being ripped from her. In just a few short days, it was certain I would be dead and so the worldly problems would not be a concern of mine any longer, but those that I would leave behind would have to continue with their lives. They would deal with the aftermath, and for that I couldn't help but feel guilty. 

"It'll be alright, Elizabeth," I promised.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, shaking her head in denial. "We've been disgraced. How will I continue on when everyone in England finds us to be a laughingstock?"

"I am surrendering everything. My daughters, my titles, my own life. And while it is true that your reputation has been tarnished, perhaps beyond repair, it is also true that you are strong and bold and resourceful. I have no doubt that you will find a way to live without my support. You still have mother and father, however estranged they may be. You have your husband. But most importantly, you have yourself. You have more strength and courage in your littlest finger than most possess in their whole body. It will serve you well."

Our eyes locked for just one moment. Two parallels meeting for the briefest of seconds.

"I swear to you, Anna, that I will find a way out of this mess."

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July 31, 1519

Millicent and Dorothea were tearful as they laced me into my gown — the last one I'd ever wear — but I did not allow myself to indulge in the sadness that the day has brought. Even if I was no longer queen in name, I was still queen in the hearts of the people, and had a certain display of courage and dignity that I felt the need to uphold even as I marched to certain death. I'd been given plenty of time to prepare myself for the day, so why it felt so saddening was beyond my understanding.

The outfit I was told to wear was simple yet efficient. I was given a plain black gown and a matching gable hood to wear, a welcome contrast to the simple frock I'd been wearing before. I was not permitted to wear any jewelry. My hair, dark as midnight with that same nighttime gleam, was twisted into an elegant bun to avoid any complications during the actual execution, but it still managed to look quite pretty. A few strands of hair protruded from the bottom, but I didn't even care. There was no point in fretting about trivial things like hair. I looked in the mirror one last time. Under the layer of grime, the tragic, woeful face of a fallen queen stared back.