My Peter behind my battle scars

part 1: this is how you will lose me

This is how you will lose me , I will still talk to you but there will be no more sentences for me , just fragments , just few words and a times just one.I will still smile for you but it will be the kind like it takes a lot of effort to make. the curve of smile in my lips that will just remain in my mouth and cannot be reflected in my eyes.I will still hold your hands but its worn away from grip you wont feel my fingers that will embrace every inch of your palm and the spaces in between will wont be filled. it will be something that you can sense the intent to let go. I will remain by your side and listen to what you will say but no matter how you sort our distance to be close, you wont hear my heartbeat as fast as it used to. That is something that we used to be. I will be there but it wont feel like i am, so you will know pain of still having someone but feeling that you already lost him just like what you did to me.This is how you will loose me. This is how i will disappear or atleast i would like too and that is something ive never give a chance to do for no one is more foolish than to be fool inlove. I will always find myself wanting to talk to you for hours , i will still be all smiles and look my happiest with you, i will still hug you like it's the first time , i will continue craving your kisses and give you as many as you want. I will still want to hold your handand locked with mine. my heart will beat as fast everytime i feel your warmth or just you call my name , and no matter what you did or do my love for i know will always be bigger than my thoughts of leaving you.

Eto yung araw araw na sinasabi ko sa sarili ko. Having someone that you were so close of loosing pero hindi mo kayang mag let go, di mo kayang pakawalan na kahit gaano kasakit di mo magawang bitiwan. Na tipong parang isang kutsilyong araw araw sumasaksak sa puso mo pero parang drogang kinakahumalingan mo.