by the sidelines • haechan

twenty two

"Alright guys, I have an exciting announcement to make," Coach Lee called as everyone gathered in front of him, chattering about what possible news he might share. "We are going to have a friendly match with Imoogi Club next Wednesday."

The class cheered deafeningly as overjoyed voices overlapped each other.

"Dude, we're finally having another friendly after so long!"

"And with Imoogi! Gosh, I can't wait to beat their asses."

"Don't be ridiculous, they have so many national players and trainees there, you'll be the one getting beaten."

"Yo, my brother is in there, I can try to sneak in some information about their players."

"Don't you dare play dirty!"

Through all the excited chattering around me, I couldn't help but feel uneasy. Not at the fact that Imoogi was in fact one of the greatest clubs out there, but at the fact that we're going to have a match with them. Meaning I have to compete with them. Compete.

I shuddered at the thought of competing again, although it was something I was bound to face eventually, I didn't expect it to be this early; it's barely been two weeks since I've gotten here, and barely a month since I've gotten injured. The trauma of the shame and pain I've faced that day was still fresh in my mind and my ankle, I don't know if I'd be able to overcome this anytime sooner.

After a short briefing on the details of the match, Coach Lee dismissed us and the students dispersed, leaving me standing inferiorly on the mats. I waited for everyone to be distracted before going up to him and whispered, "Coach Lee, is it compulsory to attend this friendly match?"

His immediate frown upon my odd question already signalled a flood of questions ready to be poured out, but he kept it simple with his concerned voice. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh..." I fidgeted around, hesitating to tell the truth about how I feel, but I guess there was no choice. "I don't think I'm prepared for this, I haven't really sparred before." Okay, I had to add a little lie in there to make it more believable.

However, Coach Lee's face says otherwise.

"Well then, when will you be prepared? Next week? Next month?" He asked sternly, causing me to cower in both surprise and fear.

"I just need a little more time to built up my speed, if not I don't think I'll do well-"

"Yoojin," his voice suddenly lowered, cutting off whatever I was saying, "Whether you do well or not, it's not about your physical status, rather, it's about your mentality. How well you strive to do, how much you're willing to push yourself, how far you're willing to go to excel, it all depends on your mindset, whether you're fixated on achieving what you want to achieve."

He continued, "You can be the strongest, fastest and most agile player on the mats, but if you think you won't be able to defeat your opponent, who is obviously weaker and slower than you, then all your physical traits would be gone to waste because your body has already set its mind on giving up before trying. And I don't train my students to become like that."

I looked up instantly as he said that, meeting his strict but warm eyes. "A friendly is meant for you to experience different types of opponents and train yourself to face different variations of techniques. It's an environment where you compete to improve. You can train a thousand times with targets and planned attacks, but when it comes to actual competitions, you won't be able to do anything."

His last sentence resonated in my mind as he finally gave me a reassuring smile. "I won't force you to compete, but if you really aim to improve, it's a great opportunity, so think about it."