by the sidelines • haechan

thirty nine

"Gosh, I can't believe it's already our last day in Seoul," Junhee sighed, "I'm gonna miss this place."

"Sure, you kept complaining about the noisy traffic outside," Soobin teased, nudging the pouting girl beside her.

It was the evening after our competition. Coach Lee gathered the whole team at the Han river for a congratulatory picnic, but after a whole day of touring the streets, most of us were rather lazy to leave our rooms again. Although the mention of a treat from him got us running out the doors immediately.

Sadly, the only treat we got was a canned soda for each of us.

"It was one time," Junhee fought back, sipping her soda as we watched the energetic members playing frisbee on the huge grass patch surrounding us. Where they got that? I have no idea.

"Oh, right, your school is in Seoul, right? So that means you'll be moving back here? Yoojin?" The sound of my name caused me to turn to Soobin, because up till then I thought she was still talking to Junhee.

"I don't have a choice, do I?," I answered dreadfully, although to be honest, I don't actually want to. "It's been bothering me lately."

"Isn't the answer obvious?" Another voice perked up as the three of us turned our heads to the source. "You can't possibly travel back and forth every day," Youn added, and unfortunately, that was a fact.

But I didn't wanna admit it yet, because some part of me thinks it's still possible.

"You just don't want me around, don't you?" I wrinkled my nose with fake mockery as she rolled her eyes. "Sure, if that's what you want to think," she replied wryly, "Just don't make the wrong decision or you'll have to blame yourself."

I bit my lip at the hard truth. If I could, I didn't want to make that decision, but it was all up to me to figure this out. The answer was obvious to strangers, but they don't know the complications that lie between the lines.

I hate to admit it, but I've grown attached to this club and its members even though I joined it on a whim, and I don't want to leave someone again. In this case, it would be a whole group of them. But it was the debt to Coach Yoon that made it harder than it already was, I can't possibly betray someone who helped me even after I left.

I needed someone to talk to about this.

Buzz. And that exact person is finally here.

"I'll be right back," I said in a haste and got up, jogging towards the nearest bus stop to meet my saviour.

"You're lucky my class ended early, or you'll have to wait another hour," Hyojin said, ruffling his wet hair as droplets smelling like chlorine flew out. I guessed he really did rush here after his internship. "What's the emergency?"

"Well..." I glanced around, the area starting to get packed with people. "Let's go somewhere quieter."

I led him to a small gazebo near the familiar bicycle shop, waiting for him to settle down before I started the consultation. "I should move back after the summer break, right?"

My brother blinked a few times before laughing, "Of course! Were you planning to stay there then?" He continued laughing harder at my ridiculous question, before calming down when he noticed I was serious. "You attend school here, the answer is pretty obvious."

"Yeah, but-" I paused to gather the words in my mouth, continuing with another breath, "I like the club I am in now, and I don't want to leave them."

"You've grown that attached to them already? That's incredible," he joked, but I wasn't in the mood to play around.

"I'm serious," I forced out and his face finally hardened, "I definitely know I have to move back, but what am I supposed to do with the club? I've already become a member there, I can't withdraw that easily."