Our Symphonies | satosere

11 ;

「 eleven 」

"maybe I'm being the clingy one"

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

There's a reason behind every 'happy' that people insert with greetings: happy birthday, happy anniversary, happy new year- happy this, happy that. It's because they'd never want anything 'sad' happening to their loved ones. Pretty generic.

We all want our wellwishers to remain in the best of their health - it's just a humanly tendency. But what we overlook here is the fact that the 'worst' is an equally valuable sentiment as the 'best'.

Happiness is like ‐ receiving an empty seat on a train. The typical once-in-a-blue-moon incident. Imagine that if one day you climb onto the train and discover that the entire compartment is vacant. All seats, like ‐ all the seats are unoccupied ‐ waiting just for you.

If this phenomenon happens to you for three to five days straight, it'll be no less than a God's sending - agreeable. But what if it continues literally for the rest of your life?

You entering the train and finding no crowd, no shitty chattering, nothing - every single day. There'll be a point wherein it'll start creeping you out. You'd crave interaction, those useless gossips, that headache. You'd crave for that.

What I'm hitting here at is, happiness has utterly no point of existence if one's life is detached with sorrows, with difficulties.

It's an anomaly how people embrace sad-ending tales like Romeo and Juliet and Titanic; appreciate reading as well as writing poetry that tugs at their heartstrings - makes them cry, and embrace this entire bluesy culture; But when their head is flooded with these same depression-inducing thoughts, they seek mental therapy.

It's like they're aware of how tragic it can be, but at the same time they wish to wreck themselves with this pain. A guilty pleasure.

That same melancholy, one that often gets clouded over by her sunflower grins and honeytrap eyes, was sitting over May's soft features as we took our seats in the audience. For once I even contemplated whether I should be providing her with solace or not; but ultimately my guard gave in - and I ended up whispering,

"Are you -" I paused, thinking through and through before sighing. "Are you upset cause you didn't get to meet Ash before his recital?"

May perked up just then, eyes wide as she distastefully pressed her lips, followed by a shrug. "I wanted to go. In fact we could've, but let's just leave it for now." She smiled, pain now visible in her eyes. "Maybe I'm being the clingy one again, oh heck, I've always been."

Although the gray matter within my head told me not to intervene and zip my mouth up for the rest of the show, I blew air from my mouth, shaking my head at her declaration.

I parted my lips, "May, that's not true in any possible sense. It's your right to get mad when he hurts himself, your duty to protect him from pests like Miette. What's the regret all about?"

She only shook her head and toyed with the hem of her knee-long denim skirt, lapis eyes distant, the lack of a response from her worried me sick.

"May -"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Inter-Town music competition is now all set to begin. Grab yourself a seat and enjoy what the participants are about to perform!" The host interrupted my string of words, and as the lights dimmed to a more gold-ish hue, I released air from my nose and left the conversation at that.

And, in an attempt to satisfy my scorching curiosity, I logicalized that perhaps - for the nth time - her change in mood was due to some undiscussed reason, a sorta personal history between the two childhood sweethearts that I was too much of an outsider to get a whiff of.