Little Mama

Hair is bound to change at least 7 times in your life. Mine did blonde to brown. Same with Mama.  Our mother said it was because of the time we went outside, the lack of sun. This is why I figured most people that lived in California had light hair. Your hair, however, always stayed blonde. Because you loved to be outside I supposed.  So I loved to be outside.  I have always subtly copied you.

Dad said we are lucky to have you. We are. By being firstborn, you are the first sister to learn and to teach. You did do this you taught us with your mistakes and with your successes. 

You have always cared. You cook supper for our family, more often than not. When you were in third or fourth grade you made lasagna for six people, because our parents had full-time jobs, to provide for us. So you did too. When we are asked to clean the bathroom or vacuum the hall, you are always the first to say "I'll do it, mama!" And the big thing about it is you will never complain, you'll never say "No!" or disrespect her. As I know I do sometimes. The most memorable thing about those moments is the smile you wear across your face when you offer up your help. The gleam.  And you will insist and require that you do it even when mama says "it is Estella's turn!" You give up a lot to be our sister. 

One of the first big things you taught me was about boys. You don't like to talk about your first real boyfriend. The type that you kiss. The type that you hold hands with. 

When you told me that he was treating you like garbage. I cried and shrieked at you to end it, and I did this in the most insisting way until I convinced you. I alone did not teach myself that. Nor did anyone else. You taught me that. You taught me to work hard at something that benefits other people. 

It did not benefit you to clean the half-bath or buy me a coffee. 

It does not benefit you to make sure I eat every morning. Because like myself you will get angry at me if I don't. You will bother me about it "Estella eat" you say. Sometimes you'll ghost me if I don't and so I will eat. Consequently, I return the favor "Amelia eat" I will say prideful.

 I know I can be extremely Hypocritical, I said once "I wish you weren't born!" You cried. But I guess we all do this at times. Because you have said it to me as well, I cried too. So I know we are alike, and alike, we don't mean it.  

I could never wish you weren't born I don't ever hate you.  

From a young age, our mother always called you 'Little Mama', and now, in my experience, I know you are.