Secrets of the heart

Stop pretending

There is nothing okay with that. Nothing at all. I exhale and take off my sweater. "What are you doing?" She asks me confused. Something stupid. "Sharing my secrets" I say holding out my arm showing her my scars. She gasps and takes my arm and kisses it. Even though she only kisses the skin it feels like her kiss went deeper. Under my skin, past my bones, deep down into my soul.

I gently take her arm and do the same. When I look up and she has tears in her eyes. I know it hurt her when I kissed her arm but it seems like she needed it. She hugs me hard. "Your amazing" she said. "Your even better" I say kissing her neck. "Why did you do it?" She asks looking at my arm.

I sigh "There are so many reasons" I say wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Don't cry" I say. She sniffles "Will you tell me the reasons some day?" She asks wiping her eyes with her sweater. "Of course" I say. She smiles and lays back down. One day, just not today. I wanna know about her today. "Will you tell me why you did that" I say. Her face falls and she bites her bottom lip. Will she tell me? I kinda wanna know.

She lays for a moment looking up at the ceiling. Maybe she's thinking. "You don't have to tell me you know" I say looking at her. She doesn't look at me. She exhales after a moment. "I said I'd tell you my secrets" she says. I run my hand through my hair. Why do I feel so guilty for wanting know?

"But you don't have to if you don't feel comfortable" I say. She sits up and looks around my room as if she can see someone I can't. I follow her in this action as she takes my hand in hers. "I want to tell you. I feel comfortable telling you. Well, now that I've told you I liked you and you've told me you liked me too." She says. I exhale. "If you feel comfortable then go ahead." I say squeezing her hand. She opens her mouth to speak when my mom knocks on the door. "Can I come in?" My mom asks from outside the door. I sigh.

"Sure mom" I say. Amara releases my hand when my mom walks in and I try to hide my frown. "I hope I'm not interrupting" my mom says. Actually. "No." Yes. "We were just talking." I say smiling at Amara. She looks deep in thought. My mom stares at us for a moment. "Did you need something?" I ask trying not to sound exasperated by her intrusion. "Oh, right" she says distracted "I came up here to tell you lunch was ready."

"Are you hungry?" I ask Amara. Please say no. Please say no. "Huh" she says confused by my question. "Are you hungry?" I ask saying the words slowly this time. She pauses thinking about for a moment. "No thank you" she says. "Noah" my mom says looking at me. "Maybe later" I say. Oh boy. She gives me a look before she leaves closing the door behind her. I let out the breathe I didn't know I was holding. She grabs my hand again. This will never get old.

"Have you eaten today?" She asks me. Where is this going? "No" I say slightly ashamed. She sighs. "Do you ever eat?" She asks. Isn't she supposed to be telling me her secrets why is she changing subject. "Sometimes" I say. God she sounds like my mom. "Why only sometimes?" She asks. I exhale "I'm not always hungry" I say bringing her hand up to my lips and kissing it. Distraction. She blushes red. "Are you trying to distract me?" She asks raising a brow. She's on to me. "Is it working?" I ask kissing her hand again longer this time. I hope it's working.

"Only a little" she flushes again. "Hmmm" I'm about to kiss her hand again when she leaps towards me making me fall back as our lips meet. I'm lost in her kiss. All I can feel is her sweet soft lips on mine. When she pulls back were both breathless. Our breathing matching. She's laying on top of me. "No more distractions" she saying rolling over so she's on her side leaning on her elbow.

"Distractions are fun" I smirk. "But they're . . . distracting" she says with a laugh. We laugh together and I see her relax since my mom came in. It's getting late and I don't want her to go home. "Can't you stay a little longer?" I whine. "Noah, it's already so late. My parents will kill me if I don't leave now" she says putting her shoes back on. I pout and fold my arms. I wish she didn't have to go. Then I get an idea. "Why don't you just stay the night then" I say. She pauses and ponders the idea.

"That's not a bad idea" she smiles. "Your a genius." She says and I smile back at her. "So will you stay?" I ask hopeful. Her smile fades. "I have to ask my parents" she says. "Is that a bad thing?" I ask. "Yes, we'll sort of" she says playing with her fingers. I tilt my head to the side. Her eyes look up to meet mine. "I don't think they'll let me" she says. "How will we know if we don't ask" I say. "Good point". My mom drives with the help of Amara to her house which surprisingly isn't very far.

If only I knew that you lived just a few blocks from me. The possibilities of me meeting her earlier race through my head. I wonder would things be different? My mom walks behind us as AMara and I walk to the door of her house. She pulls out the key and puts it in the lock. "Are you sure about this?" She asks nervously. "Yes" I say "I'm sure".

Her parents seem nice. Well nice enough. My mom is hitting it off well with her mom. Her dad keeps staring at me. It's making me uncomfortable. "So noah, what do you want with my daughter?" Her father asks. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. "Wh-what do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"What he means to say is why do you want her to spend the night?" AmAra's mother says resting her hand on her husband's leg. Here goes nothing. I take a deep breathe. "Honestly, I didn't want her to leave when she said she had to go. I've grown pretty close to her in the short time I've known her."