Secrets of the heart

It's just one night what could go wrong?

On the car ride home I look out the window at the night sky and think. I'm nervous. Her parents looked surprised by what I said. I was surprised that they said yes. Her dad doesn't look like he trusts me but he still said yes. Maybe it's because I look innocent and I am. I take a quick glance at Amara in the corner of my eye. She looks like she's fighting something. I want to know what it is. Maybe she'll tell me but I don't want to force her by asking.
By the time I make it to my room I get extremely tired for some unknown reason. Long day?" I open the door and let her enter first then I close the door behind me. She drops her bag down at the foot of my bed. "Alone at last" she says. I instantly turn red. She giggles when she notices my red face.

"You okay?" She asks. "Yeah, just fine" rubbing my elbow I continue. "So what do you wanna do first? I've never had a sleepover before" I say.
"Never" she asked surprised. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "Wow, well I promise to make this the best sleepover ever" she said walking towards me wrapping her arms around my neck. Next thing I know we're making out. We did put on a movie. Netflix has a great selection of movies.
I tried to be smooth and try and bite her lip but I think I bit her tongue. "Ow" she said quickly moving her head back and sticking out her tongue to check for blood. "I think you bit my tongue" she says. Real smooth Noah, real smooth. I didn't bite that hard. Did I? I cover my face with my hands. "I'm sorry" I say feeling really guilty. She puts her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay it was an accident. I hope" she says. "Yeah, an accident" I say taking my hands off my face which is now red.

"Okay then. So, what now?" She asks completely forgetting what just occurred. I wish I could pretend it didn't happen. Have I always been so clumsy. "Noah" she says. "Huh" I say still lost in thought. "Where did you go?" She asks curious. "Um, nowhere I was just thinking" I say. "Oh really. About what?" She asks. Should I tell her I was thinking her lips or would should get creeped out. Amara has very soft plump lips. Somewhat like Kylie Jenner's. "Earth to Noah" she says waving her hand in front of my face.
I spaced out again. Thinking about her lips. I've only kissed her a few times but still. "I was thinking about your lips" I blurt out then cover my mouth in surprise. "What about my lips?" She asks moving closer. I take a deep breathe. I've got to stop being so nervous around her. "You have really nice lips and even though we've only kissed a few times I think they're so soft" I say and she instantly blushes red.

It's kinda cute actually. I blush too and we start laughing for no reason then she kisses me. After we started kissing something weird happened it was as if time had froze and we were the only people moving but in slow motion. Just me and Amara with our lips together. When we finally stopped kissing things still didn't seem to go back to normal, it's like I'm on this high. Like she's some type of drug or something.
My eyes got wide as Amara started taking her shirt off. What is she doing? The whole time she took her shirt of she looked me straight in the eye. Does she want me to see her shirtless I thought. I blush and cover my eyes. she takes my hands off my eyes and when I look she's still shirtless and smiling. Is it weird that I'm still paying attention to her lips.

I sigh. Her lips are gorgeous. she frowns. "what's wrong?" I ask. "You don't like them" she says. I scratch the back of my head in confusion. "well I haven't even looked at them" I say. "well what were you looking at?" She asked angrily blushing. I stood up so we were face to face then ran my thumb across her bottom lip making her blush more. "Your telling me that I'm standing her shirtless and your still thinking about my lips?" She asks. I'm not sure if she angry or surprised. "yes" I answer. "I can't help it".
"But I thought you wanted to. . ."she doesn't finish her sentence and I know why. well I think I know why. I'm still new at this dating thing. "we just started dating your supposed to wait until marriage to that" I say. she covers her chest embarrassed. "Don't be embarrassed you have a beautiful body Amara" I say taking a look this time. I can see the out line of her ribs but she's really curvy with a small waist. "Yeah right" she says.

She turns her back to me and begins walking to the bathroom. I stop her in her tracks and she turns quickly. "what" she says sounding agitated but she looks as though she's on the verge of crying. I look at Amara with such longing like I had been searching for her my whole life then my emotions took over and next thing I know we're on the bed again making out.
I go to bite her lip and don't miss this time. she moans just loud enough for me to hear, her legs wrap around me and the hold she has on my neck gets tighter. I've never felt like this before. she takes one of her hands from around my neck and pulls something out of her pocket. I look to see the condom she's holding and she waves it in front of my face.

"Amara, why do you have a condom?" I ask. "I brought it so we could have sex" she says shyly putting her hair behind her ear. "Amara I don't want to have sex with you" I say. wait that came out wrong. "you don't" she says looking down at her fingers. yeah so wrong. "I mean not yet. we just started dating we can't just rush into it like that. you have to love someone to do that" I say. she laughs "No you don't". "well that's how I was taught" I say. "oh" she says. "Let's just" I sigh "go to sleep okay" I say. "okay, goodnight I guess" she says getting up to put her shirt back on then walking in the bathroom and almost slapping the door.

I fall down on the bed and groan. "It's just one night what could go wrong?" I thought. Everything. why do I feel so weird though. I feel like I wanted to but we just started dating and there's way I could have started falling for her already. could I have? I groan again. All this thinking is making my head hurt.

*20 minutes later*

She's still in the bathroom I'm worried. should I check on her? I think she's mad at me though. she might yell at me. I hate being yelled at. Maybe I'm overreacting. she's probably fine. what if she isn't. Fuck it. I got up walk to the bathroom door and knock. "Amara" I call through the door. "yes" she answers in almost a whisper. I feel like something's wrong. "can I come in?" I ask. "Go ahead" she says. I open the door slowly and find her sitting on the floor with her back to the sink. She's looking at the shaggy light blue rug on the floor.

Her face is red and there's evidence that she's been crying. Did I make her cry? I sit on the floor with her. "What's wrong?" I ask concerned. "I just. I feel so embarrassed I thought you wanted to do that because you thought I was beautiful" she says. "doing that is all guys think about" she continues. "I don't. I do think your beautiful but I'm not ready to go all the way with you yet I wanna get to know you first" I say moving closer to her. "I probably look a mess right now" she says laughing wiping her face. "I still see beauty" I say. she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Your a good guy Noah" she says "I don't think I deserve you" she continues. "That's not true if anything I don't deserve you" I say turning my head to look at her. "Why are you so nice to me?" She asked. "why are you so distant?" I ask. "Good point" she says. I kiss her forehead. "what was that for?" She asks confused. "For being you" I answer. "Now let's go" I continue "It's late and I'm tired". I stay up holding out my hand. She stares at it then takes it and I lead her back into the bedroom.

I turn off the tv because it's been on all this time. "Goodnight my dear" I say getting into bed making her blush. she gets in on the other side and her back is to me. "Goodnight Noah" she says yawning. soon we're fast asleep. I feel really relaxed maybe it's because of her being here. she should come over more. I wonder what she dreams about.