Simmer & Stir

Chapter 21

We didn't talk about us, about the future.

The whole night, Philip and I spent in each other's embrace as though this was the last of the moments we had. It killed me to accept his parting.

"You're still thinking something very deep," Philip said, as he ran his calloused fingers over my cheek, pulling me back to his hold on the bed.

After last night, I placed a nail on the coffin of our relationship. Inch by inch, it would be hammered in place for the remaining two weeks before the final bang on it would set it in, declaring the end of us.

Philip's reporting was at Quantico, all the way across from where we were. Even the thought of driving upto him over the weekend was now a distant dream.

"Philip," I turned under his hold, facing his taut chest. "How long will you be gone?"

The sigh from his end was the only answer he could provide. He didn't know. Trailing his lower lip over my forehead and lowering over my cheek, he whispered. "Why are you thinking about it now? Can't we just enjoy what we have?"

Yes. I had the option of staying in a state of absolute bliss for the next two weeks, acting as if my life was perfect. But I wasn't an actor who could don on a mask and pretend to be happy. My insides shrunk everytime the thought of being at the restaurant without him crossed my mind.

"Because," I held onto my words, carefully threading them. Any time in the near future, I would have an eruption of emotions and tears, pent up inside. But today wasn't that day. "Because we still have a date to get to... remember?"

Holding his sides up, Philip gazed to the side where I laid, letting out soft puffs of air. I was sure he was replaying the last time we tried our hand at date night. With his head lowering into his chest, I pulled him closer, nuzzling my way into his neck.

"How about breakfast date?" I proposed. After a careful deliberation, he nodded in affirmation.

~

We went out to Philip's usual coffee place, the one where we met and had our first unofficial date. We sat in the same place as last. Philip and I ordered the same things as before and conducted the same routine; talk and eat. Laugh and taunt each other.

What remained amiss was the feeling of elation every time I talked to him. With the knowledge I possessed, my heart seemed to have shunned itself from making me feel anything, knowing well where we were headed to.

"I can ask for a transfer soon," he said between sipping his coffee.

My ears stood up at his words. I felt a surge of electricity taunt me with my body bending forward to hear more of his proposition.

"You can ask for that? I thought-"

"Well, not immediately," he said, sliding the dark leather chair towards me. With our fingers intertwining and the gaze he delivered near to me, I bit into my lips. "I can try a couple of months later though. But whatever it is, we'll try for us to work, darling."

There, in the middle of a crowded coffee shop, Philip gave me the answer I wanted to hear all along. He didn't even suggest anything remotely close to breakup while the idiot that I was, conjured up everything in my being to think of the worst.

I fell back into the plush chair which seemed to be the only thing holding onto me while I sank more in love with Philip.

"I'm assuming this was the reason you were grumpy this entire time? I hope I remedied it?" His head tilt indicated an awareness of his surrounding and mine. Even without seeing what I underwent, Philip knew it.