Hate Me | Eren Yeager

10. A Knife in The Dark

You finish shoving your loose clothes in the duffel bag, Mikasa remaining silent as you move to the bathroom for your hygiene products.

Zip

"Are you... really going back to him?"

You don't bury your frown as you look at her, rightfully guilty.

You told her about your conversation with drunk Eren, how he wants you back. Truthfully that might have been the only reason you left, to see how badly he would miss you.

It might be a bit cruel, but you just wanted to see how hurt you could make him, it's almost like payback.

"... Yeah."

She sighs and shakes her head, "Ugh, and what about the baby? Are you going to keep it?"

Your stomach feels empty, like it's just a pit.

"... Probably not."

Your hand reaches to pick up the bag, but it hesitates midair. Instead, you find yourself in front of Mikasa, wrapping her in a warm embrace.

"Y/n?"

"I'm sorry Mikasa, for being a bad friend. I love you, but this is something I have to fix on my own."

As you leave her arms, she gives you a soft look, the one that pardons forgiveness.

"I know... I'm not mad at you or anything, I just wish you could make good decisions."

"Me too."

Her car slowly pulls up to the apartment building, and you hurry to grab your bag from the back as the droplets of rain warn of a shower.

"Remember, text me if you need anything."

"I will, thank you!." You wave to her as you rush inside, greeted by the familiar stale lobby.

Your feet guide you down the cheaply carpeted halls from the elevator, pulling you closer to your apartment.

As you step through the front door, you don't feel weak or stupid for going back, you just feel relief. And as you make eye contact with a hungover Eren as he comes out of the bathroom, softening his gaze at you, you know that things have changed.

He might've been three sheets to the wind, but he was vulnerable with you, for the first time in what felt like forever you saw a more emotional side to him.

Slowly, he might warm up to you again, but at least some progress has been made. Maybe it does make you weak to go back to him, but as pitiful as it sounds, you would rather take back the love of your life who's caused you such grief than leave him.

Eren is a dangerous, euphoric drug. And you're his addict.

"How... do you feel?"

He rubs his head and saunters over to his medical supplies on the counter, you notice he left the medicine cabinet in the bathroom open, he likely took from the low stash of ibuprofen.

"Like shit. But... my rib's feeling better."

You release a small breath you didn't know you were holding, smiling softly at the ground.

"Good."

You find yourself fiddling with your fingers in absent thought. He was drunk so he might not have meant everything he said, as in... your request about Zeke. He probably only said it because he wanted you to come back, so you have to ask.

"Eren... did you mean it? That you would distance yourself from Zeke?"

His movements slow as he opens another container of medicine, the silence in the dark apartment only adding weight to the heavy air.