Wicked Desire

26

We made our way out to the car after our laid-back morning at the house. Ben opened the passenger door for me, as I climbed in I remembered the last time I was in the car it was under more threatening and upsetting circumstances. He sat down and flipped the ignition. "You got everything you need?" I nodded back to him getting comfy in my seat. "Yeah, I'm all good" He smiled and started to pull out of the drive.

We made our way down the driveway and drove along the river, the tall trees towering over us as the sun shined down making the water appear almost clear. I leaned over, looking out the window with my mouth open in astonishment, This place is beautiful and I've never seen anything quite like it. His hand reached over and wrapped around my mid-thigh. I always forget how much bigger he is, his whole hand was basically completely wrapped around me. I looked back at him as he smiled adoringly. I put my hand on his own, caressing his skin with my thumb, and gave him back a loving and thankful look.

A thought crept into the back of my head. Right... left... road by the creek... follow the tree line... left at the crossroads. What was I doing? Why could I hear myself taking mental notes of where we were going? I expelled the thought from my head but couldn't help but keep hearing it in my subconscious. Why was I memorizing the route...

We spent the whole journey listening to the radio as the country music programme was on. Ray Lamontagne came on with Jolene which was one of my favourites. I started quietly singing along getting a bit louder and more confident with each bar. Eventually in the chorus, I was a bit more confident in which Ben squeezed my thigh with a shocked look on his face. "Umm, what was that?" He laughed. I went red and put my head down in embarrassment as I giggled. "No, don't stop! Keep going, I had no idea you could sing like THAT!"

"Oh stop. Everyone can sing silly."

"Well not like that they can't! You have to sing for the family at some point."

"Oh, Ben no. Don't ever bring it up, I'd be mortified"

"Seriously they'd love to hear you Clo, you shouldn't be embarrassed. They'd love it."

I laughed him off as I shook my head dismissing the thought.

*

About an hour later we came into Anchorage as I gazed out the window taking it all in. We passed some houses and came into the centre as Ben found a perfect parking spot. The engine turned off and he breathed deeply and turned to me. "No mishaps ok? You stay beside me holding my hand the whole time. I know you'll behave."

I nodded back encouragingly "I won't do anything, I promise. I won't leave your side I swear" I said in a shaky tone, I wanted to show him how serious I was, but it sounded like I was getting upset. He squeezed my hand "Alright then, let's go. We have a few things to pick up" He got out of the car and I waited for him to come to my side and open my door, the door swung open and he held his hand out for me. I took a breath and took his hand, climbing out and straightening my dress out as he picked some things out of the boot. My heart was racing just seeing people walking along the street. I looked all around me taking in all the buildings, the dog walkers, the noise in general. After a minute I turned back to him as he stood staring through me, giving me a testing look. He stretched his arm to me and I smiled and walked over to him, taking his hand tightly and gripping his arm with my other hand. "Lead the way" I smiled.

*

We darted around various streets picking up supplies and groceries. The first shop we came to, Ben gripped my hand very hard before going in, giving me a long hard stare as he warned me.

We went around aisles picking up the food we needed to last us around a month. I walked ahead a few more steps than he would have liked and he suddenly came up behind me grabbing my arm and pulling me back to him. "Don't do that. Hold onto the cart, do not let go" I nodded shyly and dropped my head. He was stressed bringing me here. Why didn't he just leave me with his parents? If this was so bad for him why would he bring me along...