(Y/n) POV "Look (y/n) I am really sorry and I can fully understand why you were so upset but I promise you nothing would ever ever happen between me and cate . She is the only friend I've really made since I've moved here and did I enjoy having coffee with her yes but that doesn't mean anything . Now stop acting like a child!" Sarah says . It's all just to much my head Is pounding and I just can't deal with this . "Okay. Whatever. it is what it is . You went for coffee with someone who LIKES YOU" I say getting angrier as I talk I begin to feel the tears build up in my eyes and I can't control them . I feel the tears start to fall down my face . "(Y/n) look at me" Sarah says wiping the tears from my cheek "I promise I don't have any feelings towards Cate we are just friends . I only have eyes for you" Sarah says grabbing my hand . I flinch due to marks I had caused last night . Sarah notices and turns my palm over and then reaches for my other hand . I see a tear roll down her cheek , but I can't bring myself to pull away or look at her I just freeze. "(Y/n) what is this , why have u done that" Sarah says lightly brushing her finger over the nail marks . "I-I I just , oh It doesn't matter. Who cares about me anyway" I say now fully crying "I care about you" Sarah says pulling me into a hug , I nestle my head in her neck . She made me feel so safe and secure . But I pull away remembering where we are and that she had caused me a lot of hurt , she was and is my first true love . "(Y/n) we need to get back into class , but come to my room after you finish school , please . We need to talk" Sarah says as she wipes the tear from my cheek and pushes a bit of hair behind my ear. "Fine" is all I can conjure up to say and I walk back into class and slump down into my chair .
"Hey , (y/n) are you okay" Lilly says as she leans over to me . "Yeah I'm fine , we had a bit of a fight and I'm also rather hungover" I say slightly giggling . "Well there's this party tonight and I would love for you to come and maybe it will cheer u up a bit " Lilly says with a big grin on her face . "I don't know lil I'll think about it I'm not feeling in the party mood today" I say to her . The rest of the lesson goes by quite fast , suddenly the bell rings . Thank god I just needed a bit of space from Sarah . I walk out her class as fast as I could. I had 2 lessons left of the day, they both went by quite fast . The final bell of the day rang and my heart dropped knowing that I would have to face Sarah . I prepare myself as I'm walking to her classroom trying to stop myself from getting emotional, I just made myself very blank and emotionless. I get to her classroom and see the door is slightly open. I open it and I couldn't believe my eyes. As I open the door I see Sarah and Miss blanchett kissing . Sarah notices me and turns to say something but I speak before she can . "Oh I'm sorry I should of knocked" I say. I just close the door and walk away and get into my car . The drive home was a complete blur I don't even remember getting home but the next thing I knew I was sat on my sofa just staring out the window. I didn't feel anything I was just numb . My whole body felt numb . She lied to me , she lied to me . Why would they kiss . Why would they kiss if there was no feelings. I need to distract myself before something happens , I decide that I am gonna go to the party and have the time Of my fucking life .
(Y/n): hey lil, you still going to that party tonight . I'm really down to party and get absolutely fucked' 4.30pm LILLY💖: yes yes yes I'm so glad your coming I'll pick you up about 7.30ish is that alright ??' 4.33pm (Y/n): that's perfect see you then🥳' 4.35pm
Right I best get myself ready and presentable . I hop in the shower, then do my makeup and curl my hair . I have no clue what to wear but I want it to be short and sexy , I wanna look and feel incredible . I went through my wardrobe and found the perfect dress it was a black body con dress with an open back.
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I paired it with a pair of black chunky heels and gold jewellery. Before i new it , it was 7.30 . I ran downstairs and poured myself a shot of whiskey to start the night off . I heard a knock at the door I grabbed my jacket and my bag and ran to the door . "WOW, you look fucking incredible" Lilly says staring at me . "Have you seen yourself, so do you" I say to lily who is wearing a tight red body con dress . "Come one let's go " I say as we start walking to the taxi. Whilst in the taxi Lilly says "well what happened then , what's going on with u and Paulson?" "Lilly I will tell you everything but not now not tonight I just want to forget and feel nothing . All I will say is she really hurt me and I don't know where I stand anymore" I say feeling the tears start to fill my eyes again . But I quickly shake myself off as we arrive at the party. Lilly knows the host , zach . We knock and he opens the door "hey Lilly how are you I haven't seen you in so long . And whose this beaut he says checking me out " "This is (y/n)" Lilly says "Nice to meet you , so where's the drinks at" I say laughing and walking inside with Lilly and zach. He walks us over to the kitchen where there's bottles upon bottles of every type of alcohol . "Hey a group of us where just about to play a game of spin the bottle wanna join" zach asks after we had poured ourselves a drink . "We aren't 12" Lilly says but at the say time I say "sure why not" . Lilly just looks at me . "Come on lil let's have some fun" I say and wink at her . "Finnnnne" she says as I drag her following zach . There's a group of about 15 of us sat in zach's garage , zach spins the bottle first and it lands on a boy sat next to me . "Urgh" another boy says "It's a fucking game grow up , if boys don't kiss boys girls won't kiss girls" I say staring at the boy . "Fine fine whatever" he then says looking down . Zach mouths thank you to me . Then quickly kisses the boy before moving back . It eventually lands on me , zach had spun it , we quickly kissed and then I spun the bottle . It landed on a beautiful girl opposite me she had beautiful brown curly hair and bright piercing green eyes, I took no hesitation and went over to her I pulled her into the kiss with my hand behind her neck . I could here some of the boys start whooping at us . I move back and she just stares at me with a smirk on her face . We did a few more rounds then suddenly I hear one of my favourite songs come on in the front room I pull Lilly up . "Come on let's go dance" we run into the front room and 'Hips don't lie- by shakira' is playing . We start dancing together but then Lilly gets distracted by a boy near the doorway and goes of with him dancing . I didn't care though I was to engrossed in the song dancing and swaying my hips , I suddenly feel two hands on my hips I spin round to see the girl from earlier . "Thought I'd come join you dance" she says smiling at me . "Sure that's fine " I say turning back around and whining my hips on her . We dance for ages . By this point I've knocked back about 10 drinks of god knows what . "Hey wanna grab a drink and go outside I'm absolutely boiling " I say pulling her to the drinks table . I just grab a bottle of tequila and and we go and sit on zach's front porch . "Hey I never got your name" I say slightly slurring my words. "I'm Sarah " she says . Why of all names did that have to be hers . My face must have changed and showed my true feeling. "Hey are you alright what's wrong" she says . "I'm really sorry , your a wonderful girl but I just had my heart broken by someone called Sarah and I just can't do this " I say taking a swig from the bottle . "I get it don't worry . Well I hope you have a good rest of the night" she says as she gets up and walks back inside . I'm now just sat on the porch by myself now thinking about Sarah and the image of her and miss blanchett was burned into my brain . I keep swigging the bottle not even realising I had basically drank it all to myself . I miss her , I just want her to be mine I love her . Without thinking as I had no capability to think straight I message her (Y/n): heey Sarah . I just wbanted too saey that I lovee yoiu so much. And I canrt be wiht out you .' 11.56pm
Suddenly my phone is ringing , it's Sarah I answer the phone . "Heyyy , Sarah I see you got my message" I say slurring my words and laughing at myself. "(Y/n) are you drunk?, where the hell are you . I'm coming to pick you up right now . Tell me where you are" Sarah says in a stern voice "You shattered my heart Sarah , I-I just wanted the pain to go away and tequila is delicious ." "(Y/n) where are you!!" She says again shouting at me down the phone. I tell her the address and hang up . I don't really know what happened after that , I remember finishing the bottle of tequila and the next thing there was headlights shining at me . I feel an arm wrap round my waist and help me up . I look up to see Sarah carrying me and placing me in her car . "Hey cheater how was the kiss " I say once Sarah is in the car, not even thinking . "(Y/n) your drunk I'm not even going to attempt to have this conversation with you right now" Sarah says with a slight pain in her voice . "Okay okay , whatever . Hey Sarah can I say something" I say staring at her "What (y/n)" she says slightly glancing over . "I love you " I say before falling asleep ( well passing out in the car ). The next thing I see is Sarah sat above me in a bed . "Go to sleep and we'll talk in the morning okay" she says as she kisses my forehead . I fall back to asleep again .
