Unpredictable | Wilbur Soot Angst

Courage

TW: Implied abuse, panic attack

A/N: OK, this is it, the one you've been waiting for (well, the one I'm most excited for, IDK what one you are waiting for XD). I'll be honest, I'm nervous, but enjoy :)

You got this Big Man! Just press it! Fake Tommy urged him. Wilbur was currently sitting in his room, trying to build up the courage to click his mouse. But what if they think of me different? What if they don't like me anymore? What if they think I'm faking? What if, what if, what if, what if... His breathing became more and more ragged as he fought to remain calm.

You're USELESS!!! That was beautiful, mate. WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? It's not your fault. You aren't worth anything. Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. I SAID NO NOISE!!! If there is a problem, don't hesitate to come to me OK? Here boy, I want you to try something, it'll toughen you up. I always enjoyed your songs...

The voices swirled around his head; messages getting crossed, warnings going unanswered, ideas conflicting. Nothing made sense. Then, all of a sudden, a sound broke through his panicked haze.

"Hey mate, I'm here for you? OK? Listen we will get through this, we all will. No one that matters will think differently of you. You got this, OK mate? Nobody is gonna hurt you. Just breathe with me." Phil started to take deep, long, and even breaths. And slowly, Wilbur felt himself begin to match them. "Are you OK?"

"I- I think so."

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I- I want to though."

"OK mate." Phil hesitated, "Do you want me to be here?"

Will thought about it for a second, "Yes."

"OK." Phil said, as he sat down next to the brunette. The countdown was already up, it had been for about four minutes now. Wilbur took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself, and clicked.

-

"OH, OH! IT'S STARTING!!" Tommy cried as the YouTube countdown began.

"TWO MINUTES BOYS!!! POG!!!" Techno bellowed, somehow maintaining his famous monotone voice.

"I'm excited. Are you guys excited?" Tubbo asked his chat. A series of affirmations followed. "I just, I just can't wait, I mean, it's, it's been- it's just been so long." he continued with a chuckle. "Wait... Do you think he's watching this live right now?"

"I mean maybe." Ranboo answered. "It's always a possibility, I mean, it's what I would do. Just lurk in other people's streams to see what they actually think of me." he added through his laughter.

"Oh here we are." Tubbo jumped in, noticing the number on the screen.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" They chanted together, and the screen changed. It was Wilbur, supposedly. Everyone let out a collective gasp as they took in his state. His arms were covered in long scars, his fingers had healed over cuts scattered across them, and his hands had a noticeable shake. Gently, Will's fingertips brushed over the strings, and he started to sing.

"I'm full of fear, I'm full of rejection,

No one's coming for me, this feelings like an infection

Someone just point me in a direction

I just want some fucking protection

He's hitting me, and beating me, and I'm so lost

I'll never escape, and if I do at what cost

I've lost my humanity, I'm going towards insanity

The only thing keeping me, is a fantasy

I'm running, I'm screaming, I'm fighting, I'm frozen

Just let me be, just let me be broken

I'm flying, I'm sinking, I'm drowning, I'm floating

Just help me, 'cause I'm already smoking

Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

This goes on for quite a while,

Most the time the only thing I can throw up is bile

Not once did I smile, 'cause my face kept hitting that tile

I finally escape it, with quite a few scratches

Oh screw it, I had so many gashes

Though the problem wasn't my scars,

It was the trauma of living under a roof with cigars

I'm running, I'm screaming, I'm fighting, I'm frozen

Just let me be, just let me be broken

I'm flying, I'm sinking, I'm drowning, I'm floating

Just help me, 'cause I'm already smoking

Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

That's when I run into someone I never thought I'd see again

He cleaned me up, who knew he could be a mother hen?

He brought me to reality

Didn't treat me abnormality

Just helped me recover from the brutality

Thank you Philza Minecraft, you mean so much to me

Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh"

OK, here we are, there is so much I want to say. First of all, I would like to say thank you all, so so so much for all of your kindness and support, I will never get used to scrolling through Wattpad and seeing my own fanfiction. Second, as some of you are probably aware, the link did not work. Lastly, this fanfiction is NOT over, though it is nearing the end, after this one I will probably do another Wilbur angst, so I won't just disappear :). Again, thank u all so sososossososo much, until next time (tomorrow prob), bye!