Just a feeling

Drugs and Pain

I wake up with a scar on my chest, I groan in pain. A tear falls from my eye to my neck as I was reminded my mother is gone and my deadbeat father is on the other side of the country and that I will never meet him. A nurse walks in the room to give me my meds and lunch, she checks my temp, heart and blood pressure and then changes the bandaid on my scar. I don't make conversation with her because I'm in pain, she takes a napkin and wipes underneath my eye. I smile with a smirk.
"Thank you..nurse.."
"Names Andrea"
She leaves the room and I'm left alone.

I get up and try to eat my sandwhich, this is the first meal i've had since the surgery. Beside my sandwhich is a glass of lemanade and a small bowl of ice cream. I eat it all up within minutes, I was so straved.

Dr. Burke come to check on me 2 hours later, he tells me I can go home next week.

Danny walks into the room and he says

"scare me one more time like that man, i dare you" I start to laugh. He hugs me while being very clear of the scar on my chest. He sits down next to me and we chat about school, the surgery and cecilia.

"jake"

"ya?'

"I'm so sorry about you mother."

" yeah so am I"

I try so damn hard not to cry, because tears means weakness and I'm strong. We sit in silence for about 30 minutes, no word was said. Just deep breaths and sounds of machines.

He looks at me and opens his mouth to what looked like he was gonna say something, he stuttered.
"I'm sorry jake, I can't do this"
He leaves the room with sadness, I sit there and wonder what just happened. Did I say something wrong? Is he upset? Does he know something I don't? All these thoughts start racing through my head, the overthinking was killing me, eating away at me alive. I run my fingers through my greased and messy hair. I try to get up to walk to the washroom in my room, I hop off the bed and walk slowly and painfully to the washroom to have a shower. On my way there, I grab a towel, change of boxers and a comb. I untie my hospital gown and pull down my boxers, I stand there naked and cold as I wait for the warm water to start pouring out the shower head.
The water skims my scar and it begins to burn a bit.
After 10 minutes of scrubbing and cleaning, I hopped out, rapped my towel right under my v line and walked out. I began brushing my now soft and shiny hair, it fell perfectly on my neck.
I pull off the towel and it skims my back softly.
I quickly grabbed my boxers before anyone could walk in and put them on.
I grabbed a new, and clean hospital gown and put it on.
I jumped on my bed and turned on the TV.