Chapter 20

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MAGIC P.O.V.

I woke up early after a rough night of sleeping. I was in and out my sleep all night and I couldn't sleep for anything. I got up and put my house coat on. Martavion was sound asleep. I grabbed my journal and left the room.

I grabbed my coffee mug and put on a fresh brew of coffee grabbing my French vanilla creamer. I grabbed my house phone and tried to dial the boys numbers again.

The door open and my sons was walking through the door looking like zombies. They both had fear in their eyes once they seen me. I grabbed the both of them and hugged them both so tight. The way they stormed out of here last night made me worry about them so bad and I been calling and calling all night long.

Sorry ma.! Micah expressed with sadness in his voice.

I understand....are y'all okay? Do y'all want breakfast.?

No I just want my bed. Machi explained.

Yeah me too it's been a long night I'm really sorry I was just so mad.

I know baby I understand.....you guys had me really worried about you. Listen I know it was a lot to take in but like I told Majesty....

How can he do that to you though? Micah yelled out in anger.

I don't get it how he do all this preaching about how you have to love and protect the one you love but he a whole hypocrite.! Bro like what? Machi yelled.

Guys look things happen that doesn't mean your father doesn't love me any less okay. It was a mistake. I've learned to forgive him for it, we as a couple been through way worse Shit than this. But let it be a lesson to you both, never play with a girls heart it's fragile and delicate. But let me worry about this.! You two go get some sleep. I wiped my sons tears away and sent them upstairs. I heard both of their doors close and sat down at the island with my coffee.

You ever felt so empty inside? Like literally no emotions at all? Like I was surrounded by my kids and husband and still felt lonely. I feel like I wasn't good enough right now, I wanted to break down in tears. I can take a lot of things and hold on to a lot of shit but I don't know about this other kid situation and on top of that it's tearing my kids apart. I hate that my babies are filled with anger, that was never the intentions of a family. I want my kids to always be happy and smiling and of course never want for anything.

Hey.! Martavion spoke coming into the kitchen. I nodded my head and continued to stair my coffee. "You not talking to me.?!" He asked confused sitting down next to me.

I'm gonna go away for a while....

Okay..... to where?

I don't know, Find some inner peace maybe!

This is about the whole kid situation isn't it.!

Martavion I know you don't have any control over the situation but this is tearing apart my kids and I just think we could use a break.....the boys stayed out all night to blow steam off, crying because they feel as your a hypocrite. Majesty was in tears, we are her remodels she looks up to us and your her favorite parent believe it or not. Now I sat here and delt with a lot of shit with you over the past 21 years but this....I don't know how to accept the fact that, that little boy might be yours.!

So what are you saying Magic? What you want a divorce or something?

Maybe....I don't know.! I just need some space to think for a while.

Magic I thought I Kilt this bitch.! Please don't leave me over this. We don't even know if he's mine or not!

Martavion he looks just like you.! He looks like the twins when they where his age.! Stevie wonder can see that shit.! I love you so fuckin much and I wanna be with you for the rest of my life like I've planned to but I can not accept a child that was made on me, sometimes I think we should of just stayed friends. I love you way to hard and don't get that shit in return.

Baby I do love you.! Your my fuckin world everything I do is for you and our kids. I fucked up 12 years ago I know but baby nun of this shit was suppose to happen I can't even imagine how the fuck you feel inside. I feel the same way I'm sure, but I can't lose you dude I love you we was ment for each other!

I don't know how this gone work out.....I'll be staying at the apartment in the city for a while and which ever kid wants to come with me they can, more than likely it'll be all the older ones and Miracle more than likely would wanna stay with you.

Dude your not serious.! He yelled pissed off. He began to walk away mad as hell. He grabbed a set of keys and slammed the door leaving out.

I sat with my head in my arms. I wasn't feeling to good, I was so tired. I wiped my tears and sat my untouched coffee in the sink.

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