A Chance To Change

Gone

Key: * it means a flashback
          
    I remember feeling pain hot and icy at the same time. My hands were hurting as well as my head I slowly started going in and out of consciousness, just seeing his eyes boring into mine with anger and as well as remorse. I think I started crying I could feel the dampness on my face and as well as rough fingers caressing the sides of my face trying to see if I still was conscious. I wanted his hands off of me but yet I wanted him near, but the more he touched me, the more I could feel his rough hands scraping all over my body or the more disgusting I felt it was as if I was being poisoned. I soon started to hear him call my name.
"Spencer!"
"Spencer!"
I started to feel some shaking and that's when I woke up I looked up to see my mother shaking me awake from my horrific dream well not really a dream...
"Good morning ." My Mom said with her silky smooth voice.
I sighed in relief realizing I was still in my now bare room. I looked at my mother her blonde hair in a big messy bun on her head her brown almond eyes had the glint of my window in them she smiled at me as her olive skin wrinkled at the corners of her eyes from smiling too much but besides the messy hair she was pretty as usual.

"Good morning." I said while groaning.

I just had noticed my alarm clock and in bright glowing red letters said it was eight in the morning.
"I heard you talking in your sleep and if seemed like you were having a bad dream so I came to wake up." She said smiling down at me. "And also because you take forever to get ready." My mom said as she got up from my bed and started to push me off of it. "Come on get up."
"It's like elementary school  all over again." I said as I sat up in my bed.
"I know isn't it fun!" She said with a giggle as she plopped right next to me.
Honestly my mom acts like a teen sometimes, it's so awkward when she would come to any school functions without my dad or to any of my dance performances I would introduce my mom to my teachers and friends they would be shocked. Just everything about her screamed youthful but yet she is turning 38 in August. People would sometimes think I was her mother it was uncomfortable.
"So what do you want for breakfast?" My mother asked excitement glistening in her eyes.
"Can I just have like cereal or something?" I asked not wanting an overdone breakfast.
I recently just stopped eating breakfast all together. Honestly I was always having panic attacks and a lot of the time that included me throwing up most of my breakfast. So a lot of breakfast meals have be ruined for me for multiple reasons.
"Blueberry muffins it is then!" She gleefully sang a she jumped out of my bed. She smiled back at me and she left my room but yet I could still see a little twinge of sadness in her eyes as she left.
I smiled back at her as she left laughing a little at all of her constant energy that was exploding from this woman. I pushed the blanket off my lap that I was planning on bringing on the plane with me. I got up and folded up to put in my backpack that I was bringing with me on the plane. I grabbed my old mint green backpack I remember I chose a solid color because I wanted people to sign it throughout my years of high school so I could remember the people who made an impact on my life. I ran my right hand over the one signature that would haunt me for ever, most of it was scribbled out by me but I still know whose it was. I still remember the day he signed it.
                   
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It was a couple of weeks into my junior year of High school, I was sitting in my first period class, which was psychology that year. I was sitting in my seat and  I noticed someone had etched some words into to the wood just some stupid stuff like "school sucks" and "forever summer" I grabbed my pencil and started carving more into the already etched words. Everyone was silent and we continued on with class with glazed eyes wishing summer never ended. As we continued listening on about human behavior, we heard the door swing open and in walked one of the most gorgeous guys I have ever seen in my whole life. I mean honestly every girl in this classroom could not take their eyes off this kid I swear. His crystal blue eyes stood out against his tanned skin, which complimented his blonde hair which was cut short he had on a white t-shirt that was so tight to his body you could see his muscles move underneath his shirt with every movement. He wore blue skinny jeans and black converse he had  something scribbled on the white rubber but I was too distracted by his cleft chin and amazing cheek bones to even take the time to read it.
He walked up to the teacher with a blue slip in his hand, who was this guy and what was he
Text messages:
Unknown #:
Hey I miss you

Unknown #:
Where have you been?

Unknown #:
Are you really still mad at me?

Unknown #:
I love you! Why did you block me?

Unknown #:
You are not the only one who is hurting here...

Unknown #:
You know I can see you opening my messages right?

Unknown #:
ANSWER ME DAMMIT!

Unknown #:
I am sorry I did not mean that last one...

Unknown #:
You just make me irrational and I you know that!

Unknown #:
I heard you are going somewhere today believe me as long as I am here that is not happening...

Unknown #:
Your family is not answering their phones...why won't you talk to me?

Unknown #:
Even if you do leave don't think I won't find you...it's still crazy that you don't understand you belong to me...

My Mom snatched my phone away from my hands.
"Spencer, calm down you need to breath.