CHOOSE ME!

Part 28

Tw: self harm
Charlie's pov
I was going in to kiss Alex again but noticed someone with a camera, he looked like a photographer with all his professional equipment. I pulled away quickly and stumbled back, "I can't do this, not now," I said loudly, completely aware of the articles in the morning. I felt Alex reach for my hand but I walked away, hands in my pockets and tears steaming down my face, what was I so scared of?

I wanted to turn back around but I knew it wouldn't end well, I could feel him staring at the back of my head. I wanted to run up to him, hug and kiss him for the rest of my life. As I walked I felt something hit my hand in the depths of my pocket, it felt soft and fuzzy but it was an odd shape, I tried to feel the shape with my hand but I couldn't make out what it was. I made sure I was out of sight and stopped to see what it was, it was a small velvet strawberry shaped broken box.

It held a small band of diamonds, memories flooded through me as I lent on my car. The wind blowing in my face and making it sting. I looked up with small tears forming in my eyes to be met with Alex's glowing face, he looked so angelic but sad at the same time. I was confused of why he was just stood staring at me but he got into the car when we made eye contact. When he drove away I noticed that I was still holding the box wide open, the ring glistened in the sun, he probably got the wrong idea.

I took out my phone to try and find his social media, of course it was the first one that came up and I immediately messaged him, 'come to the peer tomorrow at 1pm...Charlie x,' I typed and tried to find the car keys so I could go back home. When I finally found them I drove home slowly and dreaded having to talk with Annabelle once again. All she wanted to do was look at baby things which wasn't my strong point and I didn't even like her. Not even as a friend. In fact I hated that bitch, she never shuts up and is constantly reminding me that she is pregnant. Sadly I wished it wasn't mine, which wouldn't surprise me at all and it would be a big relief since I wanted to be part of the baby's life as long as it was mine and I wouldn't feel guilty for leaving her.

I arrived at the house and walked in tiredly, she was waiting for me in the living room and had her arms crossed angrily, "you're ex came by before, did you see him?" she asked standing up quickly and facing me. Our eyes locked as we stared hatefully at eachother, "yes I did," I said putting my hands back in my pockets and felt the ring box once again. It gave me a kind of comfort even though it brings back horrible memories, I smiled a little and took my hand out to take off my coat but the ring box flew out of my pocket.

Mine and Annabelle's eyes followed it as it hit the wall and broke in half, she walked over to it and picked up the side with the ring in it, "what's this?" she asked holding it up to my face. I scratched the back of my head nervously and tried it avoid eye contact with her, knowing she would probably hit me again, "I was going to ermm, well before he left, I was going to....ermm....propose to him, but obviously he left before I could," I said nervously. I could feel her walking close to me, her vanilla perfume invaded my nose and made me gag a little, it was disgusting compared to Alex's sweet smell, it's never changed but I couldn't make out what it was.

A sturdy hand then slapped me across my face, making my eyes fill up a little as she nearly hit them too. She handed me back the box and walked out, "I have an appointment tomorrow about the baby, I'll send you a picture," she said putting her coat on. I walked up to her cautiously, "can I come this time? I want to find out the gender of my baby," I asked her sadly.

Her eyes went wide and she froze like a statue instantly, her shoulders tensed whilst she stared at me with wide shocked eyes, "what? I'm coming whether you like it or not," I demanded. She nodded slowly and carried on putting her coat on, the look do shock didn't seem to leave her face, "fine but I'm going out for a bit," she said quickly and immediately slipped through the front door. I wanted to end things with her so badly but she was carrying my baby and things could get really messy. I also couldn't leave my child fatherless because she'll never let me see the thing if we split up. I'd always wanted to be a dad and surely I didn't expect it to be this soon but that was my child and I couldn't just let their mum not let me see it, but I wanted to be with Alex.

He was the one. He was always the one, he's my person, I can't live without him. I almost didn't. My phone went off loudly and cut me out of my feel thoughts, 'can I come over, I have some explaining to do...Alex x," the message read, I didn't know how long Annabelle would be out for so but decided it would be best for us to talk here where it's warm, 'yes that sounds great,' I replied quickly. I hope that didn't sound too eager but I didn't want to waste another minute of my time without him.

He arrived faster than I thought and I practically ran to the door in excitement. I opened it widely with a large smile on my face, the box still in my hand. He also smiled warmly at me as he walked in but it dropped quickly, he pointed to my hand. I looked down and found the box was still in it, "oh no, it's not for her, I actually got it-" I began to say happily and ready for him to find out the truth, but he cut me off mid sentence, "no no no, I meant your arm," he said, his eyes fixated on my arm. I was wearing a plain white top that revealed everything I had tried to hide for years.

"Oh." is all I seemed to say as we both stared at my arm and Alex lifted it up to get a closer look. He gently touched it, "what happened?" he asked sadly, I could see he was tearing up a little. "When you left I didn't know what to do....so I.....I guess I started cutting myself....I was in a lot of pain," I replied and felt small warm drops of salty water dripping on my scars. They came from Alex's eyes.

I then hugged him tightly and stroked his fluffy hair, "did I hurt you that bad?" he asked, sobbing quietly into my chest, "yeah, I was in a lot of pain, I mean I was going to...." I started bust trailed off, not knowing if this was a good time to say anything. "You were going to what?" he asked looking up at me, still wrapped in my arms and his chin on my chest. "Propose," I said, watching as his eyes went bigger and sparkled as he processed what I just said.