Like We Used To || Manuel Neuer

13

        I wake up the next morning tangled in cocoons of blankets that smell like Asher's aftershave and don't think twice before freshening up and going over to Manuel's. Ash drops me off in his taxi without much ado and drives off with a simple wave, telling me that he'll come rushing to swoop me away as soon as I've completed my share of exchanges.

I tell him Danke even though it is not enough to measure my gratitude, but it is all I can conjure before ambling away. I'm kind of in a rush to meet Marija because Manuel's game starts in less than a several hours; also, I have been avoiding her during my time here and I need to mend the neglected patches.

She greets me with a smirk and a glint in her eye. "I see you've met Manu."

I cower behind my hair, feeling a blush overtaking my cheeks as I help myself into her room.

She teases me for a little longer because that is her motherly propensity and then says, "He has been happier since you came around, liebe. Thank you."

I laugh cynically. "Happier? I think you mean stressed out. All I've been giving him is trouble."

"All he does at the dinner table is talk about you," Marija confesses, reaching into one of her drawers for a sealed envelope. She hatches it, extracting what are assumedly the tickets Manu had told me of over the phone. "You know, for the past few years, he would say nothing during dinnertime. Now, all he does is talk about you."

Mortified, I fixate my gaze on the wall to hide my still-blushing face, where immense amounts of excess heat is uncannily gathering. "He doesn't talk about me," I say wearily; a futile attempt to cool myself down, but the accelerating of my heartbeat solely intensifies. The mere thought of Manuel thinking about me makes me feel like fire all over.

"I wish he didn't," Marija replies, shaking her head. "But I guess it's okay, because it makes me feel like you're here with us whenever Manuel is."

"And Kathrin?" I ask. "What about Kathrin?"

"What about her?"

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean what about her? Manuel has her, and you know it, so why on earth would he be thinking about someone like me? And how could you even advocate this with her in the picture?"

"All Manu and Kathy have ever had is trouble."

"What?"

"She's not good for him," Marija clarifies, pursing her lips.

"He loves her," I retaliate shakily.

"That's debatable."

"What part of it?"

"Every," she says forcefully, placing the tickets on my hand. "I've seen it, Azelie."

My mouth opens in a meager attempt to conjure a reply, but pathetically, no words get released. I am extremely perplexed so I turn away from Marija to avoid the intimacy, fixing my gaze on the azure walls once more. "When you told me that he was struggling over the phone," I finally say, "What did you mean, Marija?"

She dismisses me with a flick of the wrist. "He'll tell you in due time." 

"Is it bad?" I press. "I mean, on a scale of one to ten, how tragic would you say it is?"

"It depends," Marija says softly. "One a scale of one to ten, how much do you love him?"

☁

        Asher and I decide to meet in the stadium and when I greet him, I realize that everything about our setup is totally messed up.