Like We Used To || Manuel Neuer

10

            "Hello?"

"Guten morgen, Mama."

"Azelie? Oh darling, is that you? Why haven't you called?" Mama reprimands, impatient as she awaits a response. It's my first time calling Mama since I have landed in Rio, and hearing her voice—albeit demanding—fulfills the void that I've had in my heart since I've arrived. "You've been gone already for too many days, liebe!" she continues. "How have you been?"

"I've been good," I say, laughing. "Mama, guess who I'm with right now?"

"Who?"

"Hallo, meine lieblingsperson!"  Manuel says onto my phone, which is currently on speaker. We are sprawled out on his bed; me, carelessly laying on my stomach, and Manuel, besides me, relaxing on his back with his arms positioned behind his head.

"Azelie, who is—oh, my God. Manuel? Is that Manuel?"

"How'd you guess that?" I ask, sincerely baffled. I mean, Manuel doesn't sound at all like he used to.

Manuel chuckles as Mama says, "Come on, liebe, do you really think I would forget the voice of my own son? Now, go on and give him the phone."

With a wide smile still prominent on my face, I hand over the phone to Manuel, who is now sitting closer to me than he had been. Exemplifying his face, Manu is wearing a unique clothing combo: an ocean colored undershirt mired with black adidas pants. Without contemplation, Manuel extracts the phone from my hand.

As Manuel begins speaking with Mama, he turns the phone off speaker. I sense that conversation comes easily with the two; they'd always been fairly close in Gelsenkirchen.

 Watching Manuel talk to my mother makes me smile. He smirks and smiles and laughs and stares at the ceiling and moves his hands subconsciously. It feels so good to be a part of Manuel's life like this. For the longest time, this was what I had craved—to not only be reunited with Manuel, but to be together in a way that we once had been—and now I that I am finally here, I don't want to be anywhere else.

They chat for a while—my mother and my childhood best friend—and as the conversation ends, I find myself smiling. After exchanging a goodbye, Manu nonchalantly hands me the phone and I do my share of talking and then I end the call. As I do, Manuel turns his head ninety degrees, doing so until he is facing me. He is now staring at me with gleaming eyes and I don't even know how to react. Before I can, however, he asks me, "So, what now, Miss. Becker?"

I can't contain broadening my smile as I reply with a, "You tell me, Mr. Neuer."

Still facing me, Manuel says, "Well, why don't you tell me how life has been?"

"It's been good," I reply, my eyes on the ceiling; my mind unaware of the fact that I am indirectly singing the air with awkwardness with my blunt responses.

"Is that all you have to say to me, Azelie?"

For the first time today, I turn my head away from the ceiling, instead plastering them on Manuel's. It is intimate for a fleeting moment as the two of us stare into each other's eyes, saying nothing. "Do you have anything to say to me?" I eventually ask, only to stray my eyes from his once more. It is only a matter of time before I am staring at the ceiling again, patiently awaiting a response.

"I want to thank you for coming here," Manuel says softly. The emotion in his voice all makes my heart feel a little more feels. "I want to thank you for giving me a chance to set things straight. A week ago, I didn't think that I would be here with you, but I am, and it makes me happy."

The smile on my face only intensifies, but I can't suppress my urge to say, "Manuel, you cheesy fuck."

"Only for you, Azelie," Manuel says and he slides closer to me and it's not okay because he's making me feel things again. I can't stop going asdfghjkl in my head and my heart can't stop hammering inside of my ribcage and I am suddenly thinking about all the reasons that I love this boy and I know that this is one of them. I love the way he can make me feel with  simple confession, unlike anyone has been able to do before. I love the way he says corny things to me that anyone can say but he says them so differently—it's beautiful.