Dear Anybody

Day One

Dear Person,

So I guess I should start from the beginning, or somewhat of the beginning. It all started about two years ago...

I can remember the day so clearly, it almost scares me. So I had spent most of my day watching Netflix, like any normal day. Dad was working late because something went down at work. I usually don't ask, because he will go on for hours, and you still might not understand a thing he said. And because of that, we had dinner later than usual so he could eat with us. I remember Dad talking about an accident of something on the side of the main road in our little town. He couldn't see it clearly, but he said there were the fire trucks and ambulances and police and bystanders all around something in the ditch. He thought nothing of it at the time. We all ate our dinner, and Drew, my brother, and I went on to do our homework. About an hour later, the phone rings. Mom answered it and went into her room and was in there for awhile. She finally came out. It was my Uncle in that blob of people. It was him in the ditch. He was hit crossing the road. The road I cross to go to school. The road I run on during track practice. The road we have to drive on to get anywhere. It was a rainy night. I guess it set the mood quite accurately.

I haven't looked at that road the same ever since. I'm afraid to cross it going home from school. I'm afraid to drive. I'm afraid of what will happen. I even have problems riding in the car with other people. This was also the first major death I had experienced in my life. I guess that's probably tough on any kid. The funeral was really hard. My two little cousins, who at the time were four and six, were closer to my Uncle than any of us. I remember the six-year-old saying, "I'll remember all the good times I had with him." That got me, I was balling before it even started. And I remember the four-year-old asking,"What's in the box?" That got me too. How would you even begin to explain that to a little kid.

I cried for months. Every night, sometimes during the day. I tried to stay strong for Drew. I believe this is when my depression first began. I started being more distant because I had to be strong for other people. I had to protect them from what I was feeling. This was the lowest point of my life. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I didn't tell anybody what was going on. I didn't want then to feel what I was feeling. I didn't want them to suffer.

This also happens to be the time when I meet the love of my life. I guess there's good in bad. The love of my life...His name is Hunter, but I call him Hunner. It flows off the tongue better. I met Hunner about 2 months after the accident. I was still in a pretty low place. We meet at the ski resort I had been going to forever. Our friends introduced us actually. Our friends were dating and they wanted to ditch us pretty much. So we were forced to hang out...But it ended up being great. He ended up being the first person I could actually talk to. Within the first week, he pretty much knew more about me than anybody I've ever met. and the same goes for me about him. I would call us soul mates, it wasn't exactly love at first sight, but the more we talked the deeper I fell in love. Our two-year anniversary was a few weeks ago. And we are still strong, even after that day. I guess if we can make it through that, we can make it through anything.

I'll write more later!

Love,

Malorie